Daniel Smith

aside from the one I'm talking about.

I mean, when I think about annoyance, annoyance for me is often about the small things in life, the kind of misdemeanors.

And it's often about control.

I wish that I can control my environment.

I wish that that person wouldn't be trying to cut me off in traffic.

I could...

get very annoyed at that.

And in the moment I do, it happens.

The first arrow happens.

I could recognize that what's happening is I am getting bothered by the fact that I do not have control over this situation.

I don't have control over the behavior of other human beings.

Getting in touch with what actually the emotion is.

For example, if I'm feeling envious of someone,

I don't often call it envy.

I just feel this distress.

I feel this discomfort.

Once I tune into the fact that it's actually envy, I can call it envy and I could recognize that it's about my feeling that I'm missing something that this other person has, that I'm experiencing some lack.

Then you could kind of field test it and you could say, well, okay, I'm feeling envious.

Does that person really have something that I need in order to feel whole?

Once you know the emotion, then you usually feel a lot less distressed about it.