Daniel Smith

But that usually doesn't mean erasing it.

That usually doesn't mean becoming someone who has sort of banished or cured anger in your life.

It usually means, at least in clinical terms, understanding why

You've become someone who gets so easily angry.

Usually anger is trying to tell you that you feel easily demeaned.

You're not just someone who gets angry.

You're someone who feels threatened by abandonment.

You're someone who feels threatened by being engulfed by other people.

You're someone who feels like

your voice isn't listened to or that other people don't understand you.

The anger itself is a solution, a bad solution usually if you're acting on it to some other problem.

Shame is a little bit different from guilt, from which it usually needs to be distinguished.

Guilt is the feeling that I've done something wrong.

Shame is the feeling and the belief that I am wrong.

Shame is a kind of totalizing emotion.

It's about being seen and being seen as fundamentally wrong, fundamentally off.

There's something inherently problematic and dirty about the self itself.

The prototypical response to shame is to hide.

People who experience shame usually respond to it in one of two ways.

Either they become enraged, because if you become enraged, then you could scare others away and get them to stop seeing you for what you know yourself to be, which is wrong.