Daniel Smith

And I could be prone to this as well.

You're just not, you're not remembering that.

It doesn't seem to work that way.

I think it's because my understanding of regret is you do in fact somehow go back in your mind to this thing and replay it in your head.

And that somehow reduces the distress.

I don't think we often think of it this way, but my understanding of regret, having done a deep dive into it, is that's what happens.

You're distressed about your current circumstances.

You go back in time in your own head.

And that makes you feel better for a moment.

But then, of course, you have to wake up to where you are again.

And you feel even more distressed because here you are, like waking from a dream.

And then you have to go back into the regret again.

So regret has an addictive quality.

I don't know of people who are prone to regret who it actually helps them.

Like I don't think actually people learn very much from their regrets.

They seem to just get caught in them.

No, I hear what you're saying and I don't think I'm saying that at all.

I'm certainly not endorsing acting on these emotions.

If you're someone who gets angry a lot and you're screaming at your family and it's causing problems interpersonally, it's causing problems in your relationships, absolutely learn to contain

your outbursts, learn to find ways to alleviate your anger.