Dave Barry

I'm like, she's telling me, you know, stuff about she misses dad. She misses. And I'm like, Mom, you gotta you gotta look ahead. You gotta you know, you still have friends. You have money because you sold the house. And, you know, we you know, and she's like sad and and And I'm like pushing her like, Mom, you got to do that. You got to do like I know what she's going through. Right.

I'm like, she's telling me, you know, stuff about she misses dad. She misses. And I'm like, Mom, you gotta you gotta look ahead. You gotta you know, you still have friends. You have money because you sold the house. And, you know, we you know, and she's like sad and and And I'm like pushing her like, Mom, you got to do that. You got to do like I know what she's going through. Right.

So we finally we get to I think it was Essex, Connecticut or whatever. And immediately I can see, you know, that she doesn't want to be there. That's not really where she went. What she wants to be is like a couple of years ago earlier back in our work with my dad, which will never happen. You know, he's gone. But I'm like, Mom, you got to.

So we finally we get to I think it was Essex, Connecticut or whatever. And immediately I can see, you know, that she doesn't want to be there. That's not really where she went. What she wants to be is like a couple of years ago earlier back in our work with my dad, which will never happen. You know, he's gone. But I'm like, Mom, you got to.

And so like the next morning we have this really tense breakfast in the motel. And I'm like, mom, you have to, you have to make a decision. This is ridiculous. You can't keep moving from, you know, the brother to brother. Just stay with us if you want, but you got to pick, you got to pick what you want to do.

And so like the next morning we have this really tense breakfast in the motel. And I'm like, mom, you have to, you have to make a decision. This is ridiculous. You can't keep moving from, you know, the brother to brother. Just stay with us if you want, but you got to pick, you got to pick what you want to do.

You got to do, because I know now, you know, I'm 40 and I'm a successful columnist and you don't know what you're doing. Anyway. And I bought her a map. I'll never forgive myself for this. A map of the United States. Like, pick a place. I'll take you there. We'll figure it out. Okay. And so she hugs me goodbye, put her on the plane.

You got to do, because I know now, you know, I'm 40 and I'm a successful columnist and you don't know what you're doing. Anyway. And I bought her a map. I'll never forgive myself for this. A map of the United States. Like, pick a place. I'll take you there. We'll figure it out. Okay. And so she hugs me goodbye, put her on the plane.

She's going back out to one of my brothers in Sunnyvale, California, which she also hates, to try to figure out what she wants to do next. And then a couple weeks later, my brothers and I all got birthday cards from her. You know, happy birthday, I love you. And it wasn't our birthdays. But she's just, you know, telling us she loved us. And the next thing I know, I get a phone call.

She's going back out to one of my brothers in Sunnyvale, California, which she also hates, to try to figure out what she wants to do next. And then a couple weeks later, my brothers and I all got birthday cards from her. You know, happy birthday, I love you. And it wasn't our birthdays. But she's just, you know, telling us she loved us. And the next thing I know, I get a phone call.

It's from my brother. My mom's in the hospital. She's taking an overdose of Valium and vodka. And she's on life support and her brain is functioning. And can we do they have permission to unplug my mom? So. That, you know, the lesson, which is still, you know, stings me, is don't ever think you know what your parents are going through.

It's from my brother. My mom's in the hospital. She's taking an overdose of Valium and vodka. And she's on life support and her brain is functioning. And can we do they have permission to unplug my mom? So. That, you know, the lesson, which is still, you know, stings me, is don't ever think you know what your parents are going through.

Or don't ever think you know what anybody's going through, especially don't think you know what an older person is going through at the end of life. And, you know, the last thing I did was borrow a fucking map, you know.

Or don't ever think you know what anybody's going through, especially don't think you know what an older person is going through at the end of life. And, you know, the last thing I did was borrow a fucking map, you know.

just so i can't remember what question you asked me that but that was that was just um that was the the low point for me of of being her her son now since that time i've made you know i understood she wasn't blaming me and i'm i wasn't the cause of what why she committed suicide at all but i will i will forever blame me for not at least being a little more aware of of what was going on.

just so i can't remember what question you asked me that but that was that was just um that was the the low point for me of of being her her son now since that time i've made you know i understood she wasn't blaming me and i'm i wasn't the cause of what why she committed suicide at all but i will i will forever blame me for not at least being a little more aware of of what was going on.

I never really have. I mean, if I'm being honest, I... You know, I can write right now. I mean, the guilt, I can just sum it up in a second. The only thing is, like, I knew her really well, knew my mom really well. And my mom was not a judgmental person. I mean, she judged herself hardly, harshly, but she never judged anybody else. And, you know. Somehow she would have seen humor in what I did.

I never really have. I mean, if I'm being honest, I... You know, I can write right now. I mean, the guilt, I can just sum it up in a second. The only thing is, like, I knew her really well, knew my mom really well. And my mom was not a judgmental person. I mean, she judged herself hardly, harshly, but she never judged anybody else. And, you know. Somehow she would have seen humor in what I did.

I hadn't experienced anything like that. I still haven't. I don't know. Like I said, I have not really ever totally resolved in my mind my behavior toward my mom then, except I know she didn't judge me. that she would have never judged me for that. She would have viewed it as totally her own fault that she was lost, didn't know where she wanted to go.

I hadn't experienced anything like that. I still haven't. I don't know. Like I said, I have not really ever totally resolved in my mind my behavior toward my mom then, except I know she didn't judge me. that she would have never judged me for that. She would have viewed it as totally her own fault that she was lost, didn't know where she wanted to go.