Dave Damaschek

What percentage of this country was born abroad and then came here as young people back in 18 whatever?

Anyway, you know what I'd like to do?

I'd like to go to National Academy of Sports Medicine and get my license and go at those kids and put them out of alignment.

That's how I'd like to ill-align them.

That's so elaborate.

You know what I'd say?

I'd say, kids, I'm certified.

Let's work out.

We're just going to eat this aerosol cheese, and we're going to watch me on the game shows fail miserably.

That'll get you those six-pack abs, and I'd bloat them all.

That's what I'd do.

Yeah, I would.

That's going to be my pound of flesh is literally going to be pounds of flesh that I add on to them.

Now, not these guys.

National Academy of Sports Medicine.

They guarantee you'll get a job within 90 days of earning your personal trainer.

certification, or your money back.

You can earn a ton of money, set your own hours.

You get paid to stay in shape.

That was the one good part when I used to be a boxing trainer.