Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments, highlights, and fan-selected clips from all 17 years of The Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics, and you can find the ad-free archives exclusively available through PodcastOne.plus.
If you'd like to find the ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, as well as The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, and the podcast Beat It Out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's Substack, adamcorolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classics at adamcorolla.com. All right, let's get to the clips.
Coming up first, we have Adam Carolla Show 1088 featuring Dr. Life, Dave Damaschek, Alison Rosen, Brian Bishop from 2013.
Dave Damoshek. Welcome, my friend. What a pleasure to see you. How was Memorial Day? My, well, good. Good to see you, Alison Rosen.
Hello, and happy belated birthday.
Thank you. Oh, yeah. And bald Brian. Later, husband. Here's how fucked up I am with the calendar and with my birthday. I never knew, I never associated my birthday and its proximity to Labor Day. And actually Memorial Day. And I screw up the two all the time. So my whole life, my birthday is either landed on Memorial Day or somewhere around Memorial Day.
And you'd still have to ask me every year, what's the one that comes at the beginning of the summer and the one that comes at the end? Well, one of them comes on your birthday. Still never. Again, I blame my parents for turning my birthday and turning it into basically a cigarette butt. something to be discarded and be avoided.
So, uh, and we never, I don't know what anyone's birthday is in my family because they celebrate, they combine birthdays and then celebrate them two months down the road and stuff. So I never knew when it landed. Um, but I had a good time, uh, Couple of observations, and you guys tell me what you think. Then, as not promised, behind the candelabra, my review. Oh, dying to hear about this.
And also, we'll do a little hooray for Baldywood over there. You have Fasten... I mean, sorry. You have Hangover 3. Sorry. I... Everyone wants me and Bill Simmons to go see Fast and Furious, but he's out of town covering the Mavericks or whatever.
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Chapter 2: How does Adam Carolla feel about his birthday?
So I said, why can't I take my son? And then I realized, you know, all he does is video games and shoot people anyway. There's just, you know, balder people, bigger arms shooting people. There's not no big whoop. There's big muscle-bound guys shooting each other. And then the car stuff is just the car stuff. In a weird way, those movies are sort of ā Devoid of sexuality.
They're just... They're like video games come to life. Yeah, they're just cars flipping over and then people crawling out of them. It's just one big A-team sort of montage.
Plus, before puberty kicks in, the sex scenes and all that stuff is always confusing. You're like, huh, what's going on?
But they don't even have them in this movie.
Right.
Well, that's not the reason I think parents avoid those because, yeah, listen, I'm not allowed. I want the kids to see the superhero pictures, but mama says no. I can't see all that violence and everything. But I have to admit something to you, Ace, and to everybody, and I'm going to go public with this one. I've never seen any of the fastest.
All right. Leave now before I start throwing punches and kicks in the air. All right. Look.
This is a good time to admit I haven't seen any since the first one.
OK. Wow. Wow. Room spinning.
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Chapter 3: What observations does Adam make about movies and parenting?
He said, a little bit scary. And I went, uh-oh, not a good sign. Not a good sign on the puss-o-meter. So I compromised and didn't see Fast and Furious 6. I saw Behind the Candelabra. No, what I would call lateral move. How'd Sonny enjoy that one?
That would be more disturbing, I would think.
He loved the hell out of it. All right, so there's that. Birthday. Tell me what you got. Tell me you guys are wired. I don't dread my birthday. But if you give me a choice between having my birthday and it's ā I've been the boss for 15 years. And I like it when my birthday falls on a Saturday or Sunday so there's no cake in the lobby and interns pretending to like me kind of situation.
But I'm just like ā I just want business as usual. I'm not ā I'm not a weirdo. I'm just ā it's like I'd rather not be celebrated. That's my thing. But here's what I've figured out. So I was having this thing. We were eating with the kids and the wife and everything on Sunday night. And Monday's my birthday. And my wife said, you're looking forward to the birthday?
And, of course, that was a big mistake because it just means here's what my birthday is. Caller ID. My mom's calling. Should I pick up or not? Or just let her leave a message saying happy birthday? Or do we got to get into it? Or what do I do? I'm going to get a few more of their phone calls and a couple emails.
Looking forward to birthdays is like when your parents would pick you up from school. I don't know if your parents do this, Adam, but the first question was always, how was your day? And then instantly, whether you had a good or bad day, you felt awful.
I love how receiving birthday wishes is getting into it.
For the record, my parents still call and in unison sing happy birthday to me. That's why. That's true. You're who you are.
All right. So now then I had a little breakthrough. So my wife did the thing. We can't do anything without me breaking down the game film. We tried watching The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We get 10 seconds in and I start talking. I do 20 minutes on grit. You know, which one is that? And so that's the plot. So I said, she said, you looking forward to the birthday? I said, no, not really.
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Chapter 4: How does testosterone affect men's health?
To a degree. But our metabolisms are like, we don't need any more food for the rest of our lives.
Right, because we're not doing anything. Sitting in a car that drives itself, answering a text, using our, you know.
Now, if you combine not so good eating with a really good exercise program, you can get away with it. What do you think of steroids? I think steroids, are you talking about testosterone?
Well, I'm just talking about, I don't know, when people say the use of steroids.
Well, I mean, I use testosterone. Most of my patients are on testosterone because they're men that are experiencing andropause. This happens at about age 47. Testosterone starts to go down. And that's why they come see me, because they've lost energy. Their erectile performance is compromised. Sexual function is not so good.
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Chapter 5: What are the implications of using steroids and testosterone?
Well, how are you going to, I mean, hypothetically, you know, with the erection not functioning the way it could. Feel bad for those guys, aren't you? Losers. Saps. Yeah. Suckers. You got an email on the back of the book. But anyway, these guys are suckers. Yeah, so if the ding-a-ling's not working too good, a little loss of libido, then what?
Put it in layman's terms, Adam.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So that happens when testosterone levels decline. And so typically my male patients come to me, they say because their energy is not what it used to be.
But what they mean is their ding-a-ling is not working?
Chapter 6: How do lifestyle choices impact fitness and health?
Their ding-a-ling is just not up to its performance that it was five years ago. So I get that out. They tell me that.
Now what do you give them? Do you give them a patch?
No, I'm big on shots. One shot a week.
One shot a week. And where does it come from? Do you synthesize it?
It's pretty much synthesized, so it's as close to bioidentical as we can get. And that's what I've been on personally for 10 years, and my patients do really well on it.
Well, you know, again, we'll do this sort of blanket thing and just say steroids. But, you know, people are talking about, you know, Lyle Alzado is dead because of steroids. I was like, well, listen, first off, people get cancer. They get tumors. Brian has a brain tumor over here. Lyle Alzado had a brain tumor.
You weren't juicing all through high school in your early years with the Raiders and Steelers, right? During your senior year. Denver and ā yeah. So ā This notion that where you go, oh, I got sick, and then you go, it's because I live too close to the power lines. Like, well, people just get sick, number one. You can't blame it on something.
Number two, having a bunch of 74-year-old ā is it 74?
Yeah.
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Chapter 7: What insights do they share about the comedy industry?
It's something insane. Something you would never do.
Unless you had fuck you money.
You're only flying to the place in Atlantic City to make money. It's not of the love of the craft. You know, Jon Stewart's 50 years old. He's not going there to, you know, he's going there to be. Right.
Sorry, there has to be a net gain. Pardon the pun. There has to be a net gain at the end of the day.
Yeah. Now, ironically, when you get into the club. Where they're paying you $150,000, $200,000, $250,000, you know, sort of, I don't know, Bill Cosby, whoever. When you get in that club, they'll give you the jet. They'll provide the jet for you. And then that's when it becomes, you know, get an opener. Maybe you get a middle. So you end up doing 50 minutes. They provide the jet.
You're home that night. It becomes very light lifting versus bring your own pillow like I do because the hotel pillows always suck.
Okay. Speaking of nothing related to that, I switch seats. Look at me now.
You're much worse. I'm going to give you a chance to fix that. I'm going to give you a chance to fix that. First, you need a little hit of Tonks, baby. Tonks coffee.
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Chapter 8: How does Adam Carolla reflect on his game show experiences?
We polished off all our Tonks over here, do we not? T-O-N-X. Yeah, we're back to the crappy stuff. These guys are fanatical about delivering the best beans in the world, sourced direct from the growers, then roasted and shipped within 24 hours. Probably on the net jets. Sitting next to Juan Valdez and his donkey.
I don't know why we're not making money.
By the way, Juan Valdez picking the beans in a white suit. It doesn't seem like bean picking suit. Not practical. Every two weeks, you'll get a batch of incredible beans roasted to perfection. They sent them here. We just gobble them all up. Unbelievable. And I talk to these guys. They're incredible snobs when it comes to coffee. Maybe overall. I don't know.
Everything in their life?
It could be snobs about movies, literature, dance, as I am. But at least coffee, and that's where it pays for you. Because I said, what if there's something you like? And he said, if it's out of season, it's out of season. They don't have it. It's not fresh. You're not getting it. It's only the best. It's like a restaurant that just goes, I don't care if you want brook trout.
We can't get the best brook trout. So it's off the menu. They'll give you the best catch of the day in the form of coffee. And I'll tell you what. Why don't we retroactively? We just missed Father's Day, but hell. Want a surprise, Dad? It's going to be another Father's Day in about 12 months. Yeah. Give him a gift four or five days after Father's Day. Get a subscription for Dad. Get one for you.
You get the free AeroPress. That's $30. Normally sets you back $30. Makes a coffee the best. Just go to tonx.org. Tonx.org forward slash Adam. Prices better than the coffee houses, and it's just a superior product. All right. Dave Damoshek's waiting in the wings. We've got to go get him. Let's go get Sheck. Bring him in next.
It's time for Nicaraguan Name That Movie with Adam's buddy Oswaldo. See if you can guess which movie this famous line is from. Nailed it before I thought. If you said Superman 2. Kneel before Zod. You're correct. Now, back to the show.
Good times. Dave Damoshek in studio. He's brought his blaster.
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