David Kessler

There's not, there's no one way to do it.

In my group, every week we take on a topic, jealousy, anger, some feeling, who would they be if they were still alive, all kinds of things.

And tons of people share and they purposely do that because I want people to know there's not one voice in grief, not even mine, not anyone.

Like there's a hundred opinions.

And we need to get so many different ways to do your grief.

I always say when people have had a spouse die, it's like being half a pair of scissors.

like being half a pair of scissors.

Now, here's the thing.

Sometimes we make a mistake in our modern world and use toxic positivity.

Your mom whose spouse died says, it's brutal to sit across from that empty chair.

Sometimes we think, oh, let's throw some spirituality at them.

Oh, mom, dad's always with you.

And here's the thing.

We miss them in that moment.

We miss them.

Grief must be witnessed.

And so our work, the harder work, is to say, what's it like to sit across from that empty chair, mom?

Tell me what that feels like tonight.

Talk to me about it.

And here's the thing.