David Kessler

Let's say in a bereavement group, there's a woman there, her fiancee,

died after three months, and there's someone else who's been married for 40 years.

She says to a woman who had three months, oh my gosh, your grief is nothing.

Three months is nothing.

Try 50 years.

The top line, I would say, is

We don't compare griefs.

There's enough room, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I'd give her that speech.

We're not going to judge each other's grief in this group.

Hopefully I've said that at the beginning.

But what I want therapists, coaches, and friends to know, the person who's saying, hey, they're getting too much, is really saying, my grief hasn't been witnessed enough.

Oh.

We got to go.

The person who's complaining that someone else is getting too much attention or doing too well is saying to us, I'm still in need and you're missing me.

And that's the thing that like, if you don't have the grief training, therapists, coaches, all of us can easily miss.

Let's talk about denial.

What a grace.

What a gift the universe has given us.

Here's the thing, Mel.