David Kessler

And I had to really understand it is a decision.

And meaning helped me get to that decision.

Oh, that's one of the first things I learned when I was researching this book, is that the meaning is not in the horrible event.

There's no meaning in a child's death, a spouse death, a parent death, a tragedy.

There's no meaning in all these losses.

Meaning is after we excavate the pain, and I want to underline that.

After we excavate the pain, the meaning is revealed underneath.

And it's in us.

It's who we become.

This is really about finding your way through that darkness.

And there's one thing I'd love to just tell you here that I think is so important in this.

One of the things I say about meaning is your loss is not a test, a lesson, something to handle, a gift, or a blessing.

Loss is what happens in life.

Meaning is what you make happen after the loss, after the pain.

How much do we hate acceptance?

I mean, when we tell people in grief, you've got to accept it.

First of all, there's not one acceptance.

It's not like it was in the top drawer.

I looked everywhere, but no, there's a million acceptances.

Over the years, you're going to have to keep accepting it.