David Kessler

Meaning is after we excavate the pain, and I want to underline that.

After we excavate the pain, the meaning is revealed underneath.

And it's in us.

It's who we become.

This is really about finding your way through that darkness.

And there's one thing I'd love to just tell you here that I think is so important in this.

One of the things I say about meaning is your loss is not a test, a lesson, something to handle, a gift, or a blessing.

Loss is what happens in life.

Meaning is what you make happen after the loss, after the pain.

How much do we hate acceptance?

I mean, when we tell people in grief, you've got to accept it.

First of all, there's not one acceptance.

It's not like it was in the top drawer.

I looked everywhere, but no, there's a million acceptances.

Over the years, you're going to have to keep accepting it.

And I think people think acceptance means you like it or you're okay with it, but it really just means you acknowledge the reality of it.

Because I understand that freedom is found in reality.

And I have to live in reality.

And sometimes when you're in grief, when you're in the breakup, the divorce, the death, that reality is brutal for a long time.

And you have to be in it and go through it.