David Marchese

So I had lots to ask Dr. Gibson, and some skepticism to bring her to. We talked about what emotional immaturity looks like in a parent, how much parents really shape the adults we become, whether we owe problematic parents compassion, and a bunch of other very easy topics. Parents, oi. Here's my conversation with Lindsay C. Gibson. Hi, Lindsay. How are you?

There are so many things I want to talk to you about. Also, maybe I'll squeeze in a little attempt at getting free therapy from you.

There are so many things I want to talk to you about. Also, maybe I'll squeeze in a little attempt at getting free therapy from you.

You know, the broad definition of emotionally immature parents are parents who refuse to validate their children's feelings and intuitions. They might be reactive, lacking in empathy or awareness. Can you... Maybe give me a couple sort of specific examples of emotionally immature behaviors from parents.

You know, the broad definition of emotionally immature parents are parents who refuse to validate their children's feelings and intuitions. They might be reactive, lacking in empathy or awareness. Can you... Maybe give me a couple sort of specific examples of emotionally immature behaviors from parents.

Of course, as any parent knows, those characteristics show up even among the best parents sometimes. How do people distinguish between normal, flawed parental behavior and behavior that's detrimental enough to sort of rise to the label of emotionally immature? Yeah. Like, where's the line? It's not a clinical diagnosis, so where's the line?

Of course, as any parent knows, those characteristics show up even among the best parents sometimes. How do people distinguish between normal, flawed parental behavior and behavior that's detrimental enough to sort of rise to the label of emotionally immature? Yeah. Like, where's the line? It's not a clinical diagnosis, so where's the line?

My hunch, and you tell me if I'm wrong, is that people are generally arriving at the conclusion that their parents were emotionally immature in their adulthood. I think it's sort of like a hindsight situation. If that's true and the adults are feeling, you know, a lack of fulfillment or unhappiness, how do they know that those feelings are the result of

My hunch, and you tell me if I'm wrong, is that people are generally arriving at the conclusion that their parents were emotionally immature in their adulthood. I think it's sort of like a hindsight situation. If that's true and the adults are feeling, you know, a lack of fulfillment or unhappiness, how do they know that those feelings are the result of

their parents' behaviors and not the result of any number of other factors that might be causing them to feel the way they do in the current moment.

their parents' behaviors and not the result of any number of other factors that might be causing them to feel the way they do in the current moment.

But isn't labeling someone's parents emotionally immature also a kind of pathologizing?

But isn't labeling someone's parents emotionally immature also a kind of pathologizing?

I also am curious about the idea of whether self-identifying as the child of an emotionally immature parent might lead to feelings of victimhood. Is there any risk in self-identifying as a child of emotionally immature parents and then feeling disempowered or a lack of agency in your own life and in how you manage your emotions?

I also am curious about the idea of whether self-identifying as the child of an emotionally immature parent might lead to feelings of victimhood. Is there any risk in self-identifying as a child of emotionally immature parents and then feeling disempowered or a lack of agency in your own life and in how you manage your emotions?

How often is it the case that you'll be with a client and say, I don't think your parents were emotionally immature, or like, this doesn't pass the smell test for me?

How often is it the case that you'll be with a client and say, I don't think your parents were emotionally immature, or like, this doesn't pass the smell test for me?

It's not the most elegantly phrased way of putting it.

It's not the most elegantly phrased way of putting it.

And how would, you know, if somebody goes to their parent and says, you know, I think you were an emotionally immature parent, and the parent disagrees, how would a parent ever disprove that they're emotionally immature?