David Marchese

I think there's some fundamental level on which, like... Really, this is all about happiness. How should people set expectations for happiness in their lives? Because, you know, they could decide, hey, like this, my unhappiness has to do with being raised by emotionally immature parents. And I'll work on that.

And then six months down the line, they realize, well, there's still a bunch of things that they're unhappy about. So how do we understand, like, what our expectations should be for what it means to be happy?

And then six months down the line, they realize, well, there's still a bunch of things that they're unhappy about. So how do we understand, like, what our expectations should be for what it means to be happy?

After the break, I called Dr. Gibson back, and we talk more about compassion and also how people can know if they're truly happy.

After the break, I called Dr. Gibson back, and we talk more about compassion and also how people can know if they're truly happy.

Hi, Lindsay.

Hi, Lindsay.

I'm good. I'm good. So I have to admit that I am thinking a lot about when I brought up the idea of compassion. You know, you cautioned against the idea of compassion, you know, that the emotionally immature person can kind of use compassion as like a, almost like a honey trap. And I say this as someone who is personally fully aware of the pitfalls of extending compassion to the hurtful parent.

I'm good. I'm good. So I have to admit that I am thinking a lot about when I brought up the idea of compassion. You know, you cautioned against the idea of compassion, you know, that the emotionally immature person can kind of use compassion as like a, almost like a honey trap. And I say this as someone who is personally fully aware of the pitfalls of extending compassion to the hurtful parent.

But at the same time, I want to hold on to the idea that, you know, the emotionally immature person, they're probably struggling and they're not just boogeymen. Like they too deserve grace. So how do we open up the door to the possibility of change and reconciliation and understanding without compassion?

But at the same time, I want to hold on to the idea that, you know, the emotionally immature person, they're probably struggling and they're not just boogeymen. Like they too deserve grace. So how do we open up the door to the possibility of change and reconciliation and understanding without compassion?

So here's a question that I think would elicit different answers from a philosopher or a scientist or a psychologist. How much can people really change?

So here's a question that I think would elicit different answers from a philosopher or a scientist or a psychologist. How much can people really change?

Oh, I ask your opinion of Dr. Jennifer Melfi in a little bit.

Oh, I ask your opinion of Dr. Jennifer Melfi in a little bit.

When you're... Talking about truth that's really based on relationships between people, is there such a thing as the truth? I mean, even just to use my own example, I have my own, what I think is truthful understanding of my relationship with my biological father and why it was the way it was and how it affected me as an adult. I think he has his own interpretation that is true for him.

When you're... Talking about truth that's really based on relationships between people, is there such a thing as the truth? I mean, even just to use my own example, I have my own, what I think is truthful understanding of my relationship with my biological father and why it was the way it was and how it affected me as an adult. I think he has his own interpretation that is true for him.

So what does truth mean in your context?

So what does truth mean in your context?

Well, it doesn't even have to be that extreme. The truth could be, what if I've come up with something that is most palatable and easiest for me?