David

Other tips. These books tell you to watch TV with a remote in your hand, so if a sexy beer commercial comes on, or when the sports camera cuts to the cheerleaders, you can immediately jump to another channel. And be honest with yourself. When you watch ESPN2, aren't you hoping to see gymnastics? And guys need daily quiet time to read the Bible and pray for strength in the fight against temptation.

Other tips. These books tell you to watch TV with a remote in your hand, so if a sexy beer commercial comes on, or when the sports camera cuts to the cheerleaders, you can immediately jump to another channel. And be honest with yourself. When you watch ESPN2, aren't you hoping to see gymnastics? And guys need daily quiet time to read the Bible and pray for strength in the fight against temptation.

I don't know why, but in my case, none of this ever worked. I wanted it to work, longed for it desperately. But every week or so, late at night, I'd give in. M happened again, I would write in my journal, as if it weren't an action, but an event. Something that could just engulf you like a flash flood or a car accident. Something so terrible it could only be referred to in code.

I don't know why, but in my case, none of this ever worked. I wanted it to work, longed for it desperately. But every week or so, late at night, I'd give in. M happened again, I would write in my journal, as if it weren't an action, but an event. Something that could just engulf you like a flash flood or a car accident. Something so terrible it could only be referred to in code.

I was an adulterer. That's what the Bible told me. And I struggled with the guilt of that every day. After high school, I went to a huge state college in Tucson. And on warm days, I would walk across campus feeling like a monster. Because I believed that noticing a girl's body was the spiritual equivalent of something like sexual assault.

I was an adulterer. That's what the Bible told me. And I struggled with the guilt of that every day. After high school, I went to a huge state college in Tucson. And on warm days, I would walk across campus feeling like a monster. Because I believed that noticing a girl's body was the spiritual equivalent of something like sexual assault.

I assumed all this was the same for all of us fundamentalist kids. At every All Guys Prayer meeting I ever went to, someone was always asking for help with their thought life. But I'd never actually asked if anyone had quite the same problems I did. So I called my friend Derek, a missionaries kid who was my best friend from church back then.

I assumed all this was the same for all of us fundamentalist kids. At every All Guys Prayer meeting I ever went to, someone was always asking for help with their thought life. But I'd never actually asked if anyone had quite the same problems I did. So I called my friend Derek, a missionaries kid who was my best friend from church back then.

Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. I mean, it seems so trivial and silly, and yet it caused actual agony. Yeah. You know, we felt depraved.

Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. I mean, it seems so trivial and silly, and yet it caused actual agony. Yeah. You know, we felt depraved.

Do you ever, you know, wish you could go back? Yes. Okay.

Do you ever, you know, wish you could go back? Yes. Okay.

He's right. They do crack. And for me, they cracked worse than for Derek. I couldn't buy porn. That was obviously forbidden. I didn't have a girlfriend. I couldn't even watch MTV. So the only sexual experiences I'd had were the ones that happened by accident. A woman bending over in a low-cut shirt, for instance.

He's right. They do crack. And for me, they cracked worse than for Derek. I couldn't buy porn. That was obviously forbidden. I didn't have a girlfriend. I couldn't even watch MTV. So the only sexual experiences I'd had were the ones that happened by accident. A woman bending over in a low-cut shirt, for instance.

And then at 22, I started finding myself walking slowly along campus or in supermarkets at a library, hoping to see another accidental glimpse of something. It took more and more of my time. My grades started to suffer. I was like a stalker, but a shy one with incredibly low standards. Then after a couple unbearable months of this, I begged my pastor for help. He suggested Sex Addicts Anonymous.

And then at 22, I started finding myself walking slowly along campus or in supermarkets at a library, hoping to see another accidental glimpse of something. It took more and more of my time. My grades started to suffer. I was like a stalker, but a shy one with incredibly low standards. Then after a couple unbearable months of this, I begged my pastor for help. He suggested Sex Addicts Anonymous.

At my first meeting, we all told our stories. There was a guy who'd spent thousands of dollars on prostitutes in a single long weekend. There was a woman who'd slept with a different guy almost every night for years. There was a huge tattooed biker who was so ashamed to be there that a friend let him in blindfolded. And then there was me, a 22-year-old virgin.

At my first meeting, we all told our stories. There was a guy who'd spent thousands of dollars on prostitutes in a single long weekend. There was a woman who'd slept with a different guy almost every night for years. There was a huge tattooed biker who was so ashamed to be there that a friend let him in blindfolded. And then there was me, a 22-year-old virgin.

When I told my story, there was an awkward silence. Even here, nobody understood my problems. A few days later, I went to a Christian counselor, expecting he'd just tell me to pray harder, look for answers in the scripture. I explained my problem, and he looked at me and frowned, and he asked if I ever did the act, the one that I found so horrible I only referred to it in code.

When I told my story, there was an awkward silence. Even here, nobody understood my problems. A few days later, I went to a Christian counselor, expecting he'd just tell me to pray harder, look for answers in the scripture. I explained my problem, and he looked at me and frowned, and he asked if I ever did the act, the one that I found so horrible I only referred to it in code.