David

I feel so bad about that. That if I ever see that woman again, I'll buy her a new set. I'd do it right now. If I found her, if she sees the show or anybody sees it, I'll buy the woman a new set of tires. You know what I mean? And it's embarrassing that I did it. And I'm embarrassed to even say I did it. But that's just to demonstrate, you know, how crazy I was. That's not the only thing I did.

I feel so bad about that. That if I ever see that woman again, I'll buy her a new set. I'd do it right now. If I found her, if she sees the show or anybody sees it, I'll buy the woman a new set of tires. You know what I mean? And it's embarrassing that I did it. And I'm embarrassed to even say I did it. But that's just to demonstrate, you know, how crazy I was. That's not the only thing I did.

One time, you'll appreciate this crime. I'm at work one day. I'm fairly broke, right? I'm looking out the window and there's a car parking in an apartment complex. I'm like, man, that car's been there a long time. And it looks to me like it's broke down. The heads are laying right beside the car. I bet they can't wait to get that piece of shit out of there. I bet I could sell it.

One time, you'll appreciate this crime. I'm at work one day. I'm fairly broke, right? I'm looking out the window and there's a car parking in an apartment complex. I'm like, man, that car's been there a long time. And it looks to me like it's broke down. The heads are laying right beside the car. I bet they can't wait to get that piece of shit out of there. I bet I could sell it.

One time, you'll appreciate this crime. I'm at work one day. I'm fairly broke, right? I'm looking out the window and there's a car parking in an apartment complex. I'm like, man, that car's been there a long time. And it looks to me like it's broke down. The heads are laying right beside the car. I bet they can't wait to get that piece of shit out of there. I bet I could sell it.

Why don't I just sell it? So I sold the car. It wasn't even mine. It was across the street. I just called up a junk dealer. I said, hey, man, I got this brown Malibu sitting in front of my apartment complex driving me crazy. How much do you give me for it? It was like $350. They go, we'll give you $350. I said, well, come get it. When can you get it?

Why don't I just sell it? So I sold the car. It wasn't even mine. It was across the street. I just called up a junk dealer. I said, hey, man, I got this brown Malibu sitting in front of my apartment complex driving me crazy. How much do you give me for it? It was like $350. They go, we'll give you $350. I said, well, come get it. When can you get it?

Why don't I just sell it? So I sold the car. It wasn't even mine. It was across the street. I just called up a junk dealer. I said, hey, man, I got this brown Malibu sitting in front of my apartment complex driving me crazy. How much do you give me for it? It was like $350. They go, we'll give you $350. I said, well, come get it. When can you get it?

They drove right out, picked it up, and hauled it off, and gave me the money. And that was it. So I started thinking, man, I could sell a lot of other people's cars. I got no money in this. You know what I'm saying? It's all profit. Yes, it's all profit. Here's what I thought. How am I going to get caught? What's going to happen? How's this going to play out? Well, here's what could happen.

They drove right out, picked it up, and hauled it off, and gave me the money. And that was it. So I started thinking, man, I could sell a lot of other people's cars. I got no money in this. You know what I'm saying? It's all profit. Yes, it's all profit. Here's what I thought. How am I going to get caught? What's going to happen? How's this going to play out? Well, here's what could happen.

They drove right out, picked it up, and hauled it off, and gave me the money. And that was it. So I started thinking, man, I could sell a lot of other people's cars. I got no money in this. You know what I'm saying? It's all profit. Yes, it's all profit. Here's what I thought. How am I going to get caught? What's going to happen? How's this going to play out? Well, here's what could happen.

Somebody raises a stink about their car being gone. What are they going to do? Call the cops? Call the cops. Where's your car? If they even found it, this car is only worth 200 bucks anyways. Keep in mind, I didn't sell a Maserati. I sold a beat down old brown Malibu with no wheels on it. You know what I mean?

Somebody raises a stink about their car being gone. What are they going to do? Call the cops? Call the cops. Where's your car? If they even found it, this car is only worth 200 bucks anyways. Keep in mind, I didn't sell a Maserati. I sold a beat down old brown Malibu with no wheels on it. You know what I mean?

Somebody raises a stink about their car being gone. What are they going to do? Call the cops? Call the cops. Where's your car? If they even found it, this car is only worth 200 bucks anyways. Keep in mind, I didn't sell a Maserati. I sold a beat down old brown Malibu with no wheels on it. You know what I mean?

I knew they were just the landlords just probably just happy to get rid of the car, you know? Another thing I did. You're doing him a favor. Yes, that's how I see it. See, that's true narcissism. Listen, another crime I pulled, Matt. This is a good one. One night, I'm out at the bar. This is when me and my wife were fairly recently married.

I knew they were just the landlords just probably just happy to get rid of the car, you know? Another thing I did. You're doing him a favor. Yes, that's how I see it. See, that's true narcissism. Listen, another crime I pulled, Matt. This is a good one. One night, I'm out at the bar. This is when me and my wife were fairly recently married.

I knew they were just the landlords just probably just happy to get rid of the car, you know? Another thing I did. You're doing him a favor. Yes, that's how I see it. See, that's true narcissism. Listen, another crime I pulled, Matt. This is a good one. One night, I'm out at the bar. This is when me and my wife were fairly recently married.

And I'm out at the bar, and we're just, dude, it was like right before the Fourth of July. It might have been the Fourth of July. We're drinking. Everybody's getting drunk, just getting loaded in this bar. It was in Baser, Kansas. And I get so loaded, I wake up in the back seat of the person's car who drove me to the bar. It's 5 o'clock in the morning, 4.30 or 5 a.m. Nobody's around.

And I'm out at the bar, and we're just, dude, it was like right before the Fourth of July. It might have been the Fourth of July. We're drinking. Everybody's getting drunk, just getting loaded in this bar. It was in Baser, Kansas. And I get so loaded, I wake up in the back seat of the person's car who drove me to the bar. It's 5 o'clock in the morning, 4.30 or 5 a.m. Nobody's around.

And I'm out at the bar, and we're just, dude, it was like right before the Fourth of July. It might have been the Fourth of July. We're drinking. Everybody's getting drunk, just getting loaded in this bar. It was in Baser, Kansas. And I get so loaded, I wake up in the back seat of the person's car who drove me to the bar. It's 5 o'clock in the morning, 4.30 or 5 a.m. Nobody's around.