Dawn O’Porter

And I think that's no one's fault.

And I think it was a sign of the times.

And I also thought it was everyone doing their best to protect us.

And I think in many ways at the time, maybe it felt like the right decision.

It's just me as a, you know, 47 year old woman now,

wishing that I'd been at my mum's funeral because I would like the memory of it.

I think my issues in life came from being completely disconnected from the most traumatic thing that had ever happened to me.

And I think the right way to deal with something like that is to let kids be a part of the experience.

But I never want this to sound like I'm angry at anyone in my family because I'm really not.

Everything was made with the decision of what was right.

Totally, totally.

So it's no one's fault and it's all okay, but you can't help but go over how...

what the other approach would have been.

A hundred percent.

I don't think it's any, any coincidence that I went into a career, which is entirely based on attention seeking and validation from other people.

You know, along with food as a child, being on stage had a very similar, you know, effect on me.

It's like when I'm up on stage, I'm not thinking about that thing.

I am not.

no one else is thinking about that thing and I'm able to break away from this kind of this tragedy inside of me so so that was a huge part of my life there was no way I was ever going to give that up you know the feeling of I don't know I mean I consider myself I'm not an actress anymore I write books I consider myself to be an artist without my trauma I don't know if my art exists it's been the um you know the backbone to everything I've ever done it's

in a, in a horrible dark kind of way, it's been the material that's probably made me quite successful.