Dee Salmon
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Dr. Anna Machen, episode we did about love.
She is a world-renowned expert on love.
And yeah, something that has kind of stuck with me and maybe why I'm being a bit cynical about this episode was she said that sometimes what we think is love isn't actually love.
So that attraction that you feel at the start and those really excited like high highs and like,
that like excitement and the oxytocin like that that is all not love like that's actually just like limerence and lust but she was like love actual love is like a deep bond that's a different it's like i can't remember the chemical's name but it's a different chemical that's released and she said that takes time to develop and it's actually about attachment
So I do feel a bit sceptical when people say like, oh, I loved them within a month or I loved them within a couple of weeks.
Like 23% of you said under a month.
blood and history you know what i mean and like that's the deep love i think she's kind of almost talking about which you can obviously get with a romantic partner but it takes time yeah so i think that when people think i love you like obviously you think it you you mean it but i just wonder if we are getting a little bit confused about like lust and excitement over actual attachment deep love of being like no i i am in love with you i love you
How do you revoke an I love you?
Oh, by the way, when I said that I loved you, I didn't mean it.
See, that's why I think that unspoken rule of like you kind of do need them to say it back within a certain timeframe because unless you're the world's most secure person, you are going to feel insecure about that.
Like you are going to feel vulnerable.
You're going to feel rejected.
And those are big, deep emotions to have to sit with in a relationship and not have that impact the dynamic, right?
Like I just can't imagine that I wouldn't as an overthinker be constantly thinking about the fact that they haven't said it back.