Deison Afualo

Anyways, I'd love for you to help settle a debate between me and one of my best friends. She's queer. And for our purposes, let's call her Sylvia.

Anyways, I'd love for you to help settle a debate between me and one of my best friends. She's queer. And for our purposes, let's call her Sylvia.

Anyways, I'd love for you to help settle a debate between me and one of my best friends. She's queer. And for our purposes, let's call her Sylvia.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So I've been dating this guy and things are going really, really well. Legit, we'll probably marry him. No big deal. But we had our first sleepover recently while staying at a cabin with some of his friends. And our first night in the cabin was a little rough regarding sleep. New place, new sounds, new man, et cetera. So none of us could fall asleep or stay asleep long.

So I've been dating this guy and things are going really, really well. Legit, we'll probably marry him. No big deal. But we had our first sleepover recently while staying at a cabin with some of his friends. And our first night in the cabin was a little rough regarding sleep. New place, new sounds, new man, et cetera. So none of us could fall asleep or stay asleep long.

So I've been dating this guy and things are going really, really well. Legit, we'll probably marry him. No big deal. But we had our first sleepover recently while staying at a cabin with some of his friends. And our first night in the cabin was a little rough regarding sleep. New place, new sounds, new man, et cetera. So none of us could fall asleep or stay asleep long.

And I proceed to hold a fart captive for what felt like nine straight hours. It was incredibly uncomfortable, but I wasn't about to rip ass on this man I really liked during our first night together.

And I proceed to hold a fart captive for what felt like nine straight hours. It was incredibly uncomfortable, but I wasn't about to rip ass on this man I really liked during our first night together.

And I proceed to hold a fart captive for what felt like nine straight hours. It was incredibly uncomfortable, but I wasn't about to rip ass on this man I really liked during our first night together.

A few times I snuck away to the bathroom but encountered stage fright knowing that a wall was essentially made of plywood separated my future husband from what would likely be an absolute trumpet blast.

A few times I snuck away to the bathroom but encountered stage fright knowing that a wall was essentially made of plywood separated my future husband from what would likely be an absolute trumpet blast.

A few times I snuck away to the bathroom but encountered stage fright knowing that a wall was essentially made of plywood separated my future husband from what would likely be an absolute trumpet blast.

This is poetry.

This is poetry.

This is poetry.

He's a great writer. It feels like I'm in the room. Somehow I survived the night, but I was able to handle business the next morning. I'm guessing he went out into the woods. When I told Sylvia about this, she was dumbfounded to the point of rage. She couldn't fathom why I didn't just fart in front of him. She said with increasing anger. And this is a direct quote.

He's a great writer. It feels like I'm in the room. Somehow I survived the night, but I was able to handle business the next morning. I'm guessing he went out into the woods. When I told Sylvia about this, she was dumbfounded to the point of rage. She couldn't fathom why I didn't just fart in front of him. She said with increasing anger. And this is a direct quote.