Desi Lydic

Keep car running outside.

That won't be long.

And while Melania was decking the halls, Donald was dreaming of sugar plums dancing in his head.

Unfortunately, it was in the middle of a cabinet meeting where he somehow

Kept falling asleep while people worked really hard to kiss his ass?

As we speak to you now, Steve Woodcoff is in Moscow trying to find a way to end this war to save lives of 8, 9,000 people, Mr. President, as you know, are dying every week.

Jeez, normally dudes fall asleep after someone blows them.

If you're falling asleep mid-blow job, you should see a doctor.

But let's move on to Kash Patel, FBI director and man who just found out that Kash Patel is the FBI director.

And now, a new report is giving people yet another reason to question Kash's priorities as director.

Okay, obviously, as an enlightened, progressive person, I believe that gender expression is a spectrum, and we shouldn't judge people for what they wear.

At the same time, gay!

But honestly, you can't even tell that it's a women's jacket, although looking back on it, you can tell that he was up there thinking, I hope no one can tell I'm wearing a women's jacket.

But come on, throwing a tantrum and refusing to get out of the plane until he had exactly what he wanted to wear?

I know he borrowed a woman's jacket, but did he borrow her period too?

And getting his jacket wasn't even enough.

Cash still needed to accessorize.

Oh, my God.

It's like trying to get your eight-year-old out the door for school.

No, Mom, I'm not leaving until I find my special jacket, the one with the cool patches.