Desi Lydic

All right. You have no idea what you're announcing, do you? You're just going to go into the next room and be like, guys, I promised them something big. Does anyone have anything good? I have two to five days. And don't say jello shots, Pete. Next time, just come out when you're ready to say the announcement. We don't need a pre-announcement.

All right. You have no idea what you're announcing, do you? You're just going to go into the next room and be like, guys, I promised them something big. Does anyone have anything good? I have two to five days. And don't say jello shots, Pete. Next time, just come out when you're ready to say the announcement. We don't need a pre-announcement.

This is worse than my cousin announcing that they're trying for a third child. Great. So you're telling me that you're f***ing Call me when there's a Gymboree registry. And by the way, it's totally possible that we never get an announcement. Remember him teasing his big replacement for Obamacare?

This is worse than my cousin announcing that they're trying for a third child. Great. So you're telling me that you're f***ing Call me when there's a Gymboree registry. And by the way, it's totally possible that we never get an announcement. Remember him teasing his big replacement for Obamacare?

And that two months was up 69 months ago. Very nice. But while we're waiting for Trump's earth-shattering, mind-blowing, orgasm-inducing announcement, there's already a much stupider announcement in the works.

And that two months was up 69 months ago. Very nice. But while we're waiting for Trump's earth-shattering, mind-blowing, orgasm-inducing announcement, there's already a much stupider announcement in the works.

What is it with this guy and renaming gulfs? At least the Gulf of Mexico was on our border, but now he's just going around renaming other countries' water? The Gulf of Thailand is now the Gulf of White Lotus. The Indian Ocean is now the Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas Ocean. And the Black Sea, we're just getting rid of. No more DEI. You know what?

What is it with this guy and renaming gulfs? At least the Gulf of Mexico was on our border, but now he's just going around renaming other countries' water? The Gulf of Thailand is now the Gulf of White Lotus. The Indian Ocean is now the Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas Ocean. And the Black Sea, we're just getting rid of. No more DEI. You know what?

Why shouldn't we be allowed to rename the world's oceans? After all, we have the world's most competent, powerful, competent navy full of competence operating right now at the top of their competence.

Why shouldn't we be allowed to rename the world's oceans? After all, we have the world's most competent, powerful, competent navy full of competence operating right now at the top of their competence.

Not to get all doge over here, but I think we could save some money if we stopped dropping fighter jets into the Red Sea. At some point, we're giving more military aid to puffer fish than we are to Ukraine. Zelensky should just be following behind our aircraft carriers with a giant net. And I know this is all a little concerning, but don't worry.

Not to get all doge over here, but I think we could save some money if we stopped dropping fighter jets into the Red Sea. At some point, we're giving more military aid to puffer fish than we are to Ukraine. Zelensky should just be following behind our aircraft carriers with a giant net. And I know this is all a little concerning, but don't worry.

Pete Hegseth has ordered a top-to-bottom review to determine if there were any rainbow flags on board that might be to blame. Whatever the cause is, we have got to stop dropping $70 million fighter jets into the ocean, people. Otherwise, it's going to change the reputation of America's fighter pilots. And then the Top Gun sequels are just going to start getting real weird.

Pete Hegseth has ordered a top-to-bottom review to determine if there were any rainbow flags on board that might be to blame. Whatever the cause is, we have got to stop dropping $70 million fighter jets into the ocean, people. Otherwise, it's going to change the reputation of America's fighter pilots. And then the Top Gun sequels are just going to start getting real weird.

He truly feels the need for speed. And finally, an update on tariffs. They're the reason your MAGA family stopped talking about the economy. Just mine, just my family. Ever since they kicked in, Trump has been telling Americans that they're gonna have to tighten their belts a little. And there's one example in particular that he keeps fixating on.

He truly feels the need for speed. And finally, an update on tariffs. They're the reason your MAGA family stopped talking about the economy. Just mine, just my family. Ever since they kicked in, Trump has been telling Americans that they're gonna have to tighten their belts a little. And there's one example in particular that he keeps fixating on.

Why do I feel like last week Trump walked in on Eric kissing a doll and now he's like, sorry America, we're banning dolls. Banning them. Either way, it turns out that the whole expensive doll example was not hypothetical.

Why do I feel like last week Trump walked in on Eric kissing a doll and now he's like, sorry America, we're banning dolls. Banning them. Either way, it turns out that the whole expensive doll example was not hypothetical.

Yes, they're raising prices on Barbie. Even she has to cut back. She had to move out of Barbie's dream house and into Barbie's dream studio apartment with two roommates. Her pink convertible is now a 2007 Toyota Tercel. It's very sad. Come on, don't make Barbie tighten her belt even more. She only has a one inch waist. And Trump's not the only one answering dull-based questions.

Yes, they're raising prices on Barbie. Even she has to cut back. She had to move out of Barbie's dream house and into Barbie's dream studio apartment with two roommates. Her pink convertible is now a 2007 Toyota Tercel. It's very sad. Come on, don't make Barbie tighten her belt even more. She only has a one inch waist. And Trump's not the only one answering dull-based questions.