Desi Lydic

Wow, look at that.

It's a day of the week, which means, again, America is the world's punching bag.

Well, guess what, other countries?

You guys aren't so perfect either, okay?

Just look at Mexico City, the most creatively named city in Mexico.

They have a pretty big problem, and I'm not just talking about Americans trying to pronounce Oaxaca.

As they say in Mexico City, oh no.

Wow, we've really gentrified that place, you guys.

Now, on one hand, this is terrible news.

On the other, it is kind of fun to think that instead of flying to Mexico City, we'll soon be able to zipline there.

The point is, Mexico, I know losing 10 inches a year might seem fast, but I've seen eight inches disappear like that.

Happy pride.

So, sure, America's infrastructure might be crumbling and our bridges are too dangerous to drive on, but at least our capital isn't deflating like a divorced dad's air mattress.

So, lo siento, Mexico, but that is so not our problem.

Now, let's move on to France, where everyone, and I mean everyone, is throwing back a rosé.

Okay, give Bambi a break.

You would drink too if your mom was murdered.

Also, are you sorry about the cartoon deer?

It was 80 years ago.

Also, are we sure that that deer is even drunk?