Desi Lydic
👤 PersonAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
What?
Of course not.
Admiral Bradley told me it was Vice Admiral Johnson who ordered the whole thing.
Bradley wasn't even there.
He was whacking it in the stall next to Pete.
Okay, so now they're throwing Johnson under the bus.
What?
No, no.
It wasn't Johnson's fault.
Johnson was hypnotized by Captain Cartwright, who was doing a favor for Commander Jenkins, who turned out to be two kids in an oversized coat who were given the order by Private Bailey, who was being catfished by the IT guy.
Oh, my God.
Jordan, at this rate, the military is gonna run out of soldiers to blame.
Well, they already have, Desi.
That's why they're recruiting a whole new division, the 101st Scapegoat Brigade.
These loyal troops will parachute into any situation Hegseth needs to get out of.
A war crime, a signal chat, an unpaid bar tab.
You know, whatever it is, they'll take the fall.
Hoorah!
I'm sorry, Jordan.
I'm just so distracted by your tiny jacket.