Desi Lydic

So if I want a free cookie, now I have to what, give blood at the Red Cross?

You can forget about that.

This is my blood, okay?

I made it, so I get to keep it.

off, you bloodthirsty maniacs.

What is wrong with you?

Sorry, I just really like cookies.

Now, without pointing fingers, this entire situation is President Trump's fault.

So he needs to reassure people that he has a plan to fix the economy.

And fortunately, he had the chance yesterday when he hosted a small business summit.

These are the men and women on the economic front lines.

Donald Trump, give them the reassurance they need.

Anybody running for president or vice president should take a cognitive test.

So I've taken three.

No president, think of this, has ever taken one.

Kind of a weird flex.

It's like bragging about being the only kid in school who gets a special helper.

This is not a test to see how smart you are.

It's to check if your brain is functioning, which Trump should understand based on the questions.

The first question is very easy, and they always show the first question is, you have a lion, a bear, an alligator, and a, what's another good, a squirrel, okay?