Desi Lydic

I understand why Trump is feeling celebratory.

This weekend is his birthday and he made it to 80 with a little help.

No wonder I can't get a doctor's appointment.

Half the medical profession is busy duct taping together the world's healthiest man.

Although, to be fair, 22 specialists is not that many.

You know, it's just your standard cardiologist, urologist, neurologist, internal poopologist, Dr. Pepper, Dr. Quinn medicine woman, gynecologist for his neck, and of course, a stripper dressed like a doctor who says, your test results are back and they're bad.

No, but seriously, you have high cholesterol.

But yes, Trump is turning 80, and no need to get him a gift.

He already has the thing that he wants most.

Looks beautiful.

Everybody's looking at that reflecting pool.

They can't believe it.

But it's really beautiful.

It's something for you to see.

It's incredible.

Yes, yes, it's so incredible.

Sure, maybe Donald Trump can't fight a war or end a war or steal any oil or get a checkup without seeing two dozen doctors, but the man can keep a pool crystal clear.

Oh, now even Trump's pool needs 22 specialists.

You do not want the pool to turn green.

Otherwise, John Fetterman might confuse it for the swamp he grew up in.