Desi Lydic

He's a huge political junkie.

Anyway, let's start with the Senate race in Maine with presumptive Democratic nominee and horny Lorax, Graham Platner.

Since his campaign launch, Platner has had to apologize for everything, from a Nazi tattoo to offensive Reddit posts.

The guy's had more controversies than the second half of Michael.

But with the priming,

But with the primary just a week away, surely we're not going to hear about any more scandals involving Graham Platner.

A former campaign staffer came forward telling the Associated Press that the candidate was sexting multiple women while married.

You left the seat up?

This is not the kind of married political candidate I want to exchange messages with.

But let's move on from Maine to the other state where deodorant goes to die, Colorado.

In their primary for governor, the Republican frontrunner is Marine veteran, Trump superfan, and Axe bear spray model, Victor Marx.

He is an outsider, all the way down to how he announced his candidacy.

He launched his campaign at a memorial service?

Yeah.

It does make me feel better about the gender reveal I did at my aunt's wake.

Not so tacky now, is it, Aunt Linda?

R.I.P.

Now, before dipping his toes into politics, Victor racked up millions of views on YouTube as the self-described world's fastest gun disarmer.

Holy shit, that was fast.

I got to admit, pretty cool.