Deviant Ollam

And I was like, yeah, I heard there was a report. And I, you know, I just, I lie for a living. I just dropped into it. My friend, I don't know if he was nervous or not, but I said, yeah, I heard you had a problem with one of your passenger elevators today. They pulled us off of some other job because you're paying for this elite care service.

And I was like, yeah, I heard there was a report. And I, you know, I just, I lie for a living. I just dropped into it. My friend, I don't know if he was nervous or not, but I said, yeah, I heard you had a problem with one of your passenger elevators today. They pulled us off of some other job because you're paying for this elite care service.

You've got a good tier of service package with us here at Otis. Point me at the problem. Let's get you squared away. And he proceeds to lead us right back to that elevator where I had been with the notice still taped on the door. And he's like, this frigging thing, I got calls all afternoon. So now I like this. I like that this guy, he's invested in the problem. He's invested in it being solved.

You've got a good tier of service package with us here at Otis. Point me at the problem. Let's get you squared away. And he proceeds to lead us right back to that elevator where I had been with the notice still taped on the door. And he's like, this frigging thing, I got calls all afternoon. So now I like this. I like that this guy, he's invested in the problem. He's invested in it being solved.

And I said, oh, man, and it's the only elevator in the bank. You don't even have other cabs. Your phone must have been ringing nonstop. He's like, oh, well, there's not a lot of people in here, but they still let me know about it. I said, well, let me see what I can do, sir. I pull out my keys. I still have my keys. The keys will turn, obviously, in all the key switches.

And I said, oh, man, and it's the only elevator in the bank. You don't even have other cabs. Your phone must have been ringing nonstop. He's like, oh, well, there's not a lot of people in here, but they still let me know about it. I said, well, let me see what I can do, sir. I pull out my keys. I still have my keys. The keys will turn, obviously, in all the key switches.

So I have the trappings of legitimacy where I, A, look like I have credentials, B, B, I'm sympathizing with his problem. I can express familiarity with his problem. And then C, I am pulling, casually pulling implements out of my pockets that clearly work in the system.

So I have the trappings of legitimacy where I, A, look like I have credentials, B, B, I'm sympathizing with his problem. I can express familiarity with his problem. And then C, I am pulling, casually pulling implements out of my pockets that clearly work in the system.

If you were in a parking lot and you saw somebody with a red blazer and you thought they might be a valet and they say, oh, is it really busy in the restaurant tonight, sir? And then they are holding a key that opens a car door. Well, that's gotta be the valet. They're doing all the things that I've seen valets do. So this guy just thought, well, he's obviously the Otis guy.

If you were in a parking lot and you saw somebody with a red blazer and you thought they might be a valet and they say, oh, is it really busy in the restaurant tonight, sir? And then they are holding a key that opens a car door. Well, that's gotta be the valet. They're doing all the things that I've seen valets do. So this guy just thought, well, he's obviously the Otis guy.

And I'm rattling off some techno jargon and I'm turning key switches that don't do much, but I'm claiming, oh, I'm resetting the door sensors. Now this will reboot the door operator if we hold it for three seconds. Here, let's everyone step into the cab for a second. Let's let this door close. So now we're bringing the guard with us and the doors close. And I say, all right, well, that's good.

And I'm rattling off some techno jargon and I'm turning key switches that don't do much, but I'm claiming, oh, I'm resetting the door sensors. Now this will reboot the door operator if we hold it for three seconds. Here, let's everyone step into the cab for a second. Let's let this door close. So now we're bringing the guard with us and the doors close. And I say, all right, well, that's good.

Let's try door open. No, we're still level. We're not misleveled. Sometimes a mislevel event can cause the doors to jam. Let's try to go up a few floors. So he just starts taking us up to other floors, floors that I didn't have credential access to. But he's going up floors and we're stuck in platforms pretty well.

Let's try door open. No, we're still level. We're not misleveled. Sometimes a mislevel event can cause the doors to jam. Let's try to go up a few floors. So he just starts taking us up to other floors, floors that I didn't have credential access to. But he's going up floors and we're stuck in platforms pretty well.

I'm pretending to measure the platform leveling because, again, I have just enough industry knowledge to speak to what you're expecting a technician to do. I'm actually a, you know, I'm a trained life safety fire door inspector. Not because I do that for a living, but because I can walk around a building. If anyone catches me and say, what are you doing in here?

I'm pretending to measure the platform leveling because, again, I have just enough industry knowledge to speak to what you're expecting a technician to do. I'm actually a, you know, I'm a trained life safety fire door inspector. Not because I do that for a living, but because I can walk around a building. If anyone catches me and say, what are you doing in here?

I can say, what are you all doing in here? Because these fire doors are not to code. And I can rattle off all the different, the signage is wrong. The glazing is this. You can't have appurtenances that interfere with that. So I look like a technician. We're getting up. We finally get to the top floor, which is a really juicy floor in this building. And I say, let's walk around for a minute here.

I can say, what are you all doing in here? Because these fire doors are not to code. And I can rattle off all the different, the signage is wrong. The glazing is this. You can't have appurtenances that interfere with that. So I look like a technician. We're getting up. We finally get to the top floor, which is a really juicy floor in this building. And I say, let's walk around for a minute here.

You said there's another elevator. I'm pretty sure this one's fine. But let's try the South Bank elevator, the North Bank elevators. And now the guard is so used to being in our company that even anyone else who's in the building who sees us on camera or in person, well, this guy has been with the guard, so he must belong here.

You said there's another elevator. I'm pretty sure this one's fine. But let's try the South Bank elevator, the North Bank elevators. And now the guard is so used to being in our company that even anyone else who's in the building who sees us on camera or in person, well, this guy has been with the guard, so he must belong here.