Dhru Purohit

but it doesn't play a role in reproduction.

So historically, we've been taught it's not important, right?

And I'm here to tell women that sexual pleasure is important, but yes, in order to be able to enjoy sex, it does take the first step of knowing that you are entitled to pleasure.

that you need to figure out how to feel turned on as a woman, as a person, in life, in other aspects of things that bring you passion and joy with your own body before you can feel like you can enjoy pleasure with another person.

So I really think it's, for women especially, we're so used to being,

socialize to take care of other people to attend to the needs of others right to nurture others those things are important but we can't do that if we're not taking care of ourselves first it goes back to the metaphor we've heard you've got to put your own oxygen mask on first before you can put that on of the people around you right and if we're not as women paying attention to

pleasure, feeling turned on, and there are multiple ways we can get into in terms of how to do that, then we're not going to be able to feel like we can enjoy sex with a partner.

But yes, there needs to be selfishness.

There needs to be entitlement because that entitlement and selfishness has to exist before you can become the person that meets another person in a place where you can enjoy intimacy together.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, absolutely.

And I mean, we really have to look at this as, yes, there is the biology.

And I agree with you, Drew.

And we even know that male fetuses are more active in the womb than female fetuses.

We know that males have more serotonin than females in their brains naturally, making them less susceptible to anxiety and depression.

We know that women have more dopamine in their brains, which makes men more likely to suffer from addiction.

So yes, absolutely, there are these biological difference, but I think when it comes to sex, what's almost even more important are these gendered expectations around the importance of sex, right?

And the idea is that many of us just grew up thinking that

oh, sex is just something you do for your husband, right?

Or it's something you're, you know, or you're meant to be the sexual gatekeeper and it's supposed to be the husband in, you know, the context of a straight relationship who's always trying for sex and is always ready for sex.