Dhru Purohit

That's not necessarily true, right?

Sometimes we have to kind of get into the mood and start physically touching our partner before that subjective sense of, oh, I really want this kicks in.

Yeah, so we, again, it goes back to this idea that we assume that first of all, if we lose that sense of attraction to our partner, that there's something wrong in the relationship, right?

And this is why a lot of people will kind of panic after that initial honeymoon stage is over in a relationship where,

You don't want to tear their clothes off every time they walk into the room.

And there can be times in the relationship even further down the road from that when you're maybe not feeling that hot for your partner all the time.

And so there are a couple of different ways that we need to address that.

And the first is to look at the actual sex that you're having.

Because the reality is that no one craves

bad sex.

And so is it just that you and your partner have gotten into a rut, right?

Is it that you need to go read chapters two and three of my book where I talk about the types of sexual techniques and touch and ways to turn each other on that will lead to better sex, that will lead to more pleasure and

Because pleasure is what leads to more sex, more desire for sex.

So you need to actually look at the sex that you're having already and increase the amount of pleasure there.

And also knowing that we don't all crave the exact same type of sex every single time.

No matter how much you love tacos, no one wants to eat tacos every single night for dinner.

They're going to lose their appeal.

So what we, again, see in the literature is that couples who introduce something new about once a month tend to enjoy higher levels of sexual satisfaction than couples who introduce novelty less frequently than that.

But novelty doesn't mean that you have to be swinging from the chandeliers or, again, going and getting that dominatrix getup.

It just means that you need to introduce – maybe it's a new position.