Diego Perez

A long time ago, I read this essay by Jiddu Krishnamurti, and he was talking about being able to just see something.

Where if you're looking at a tree, you're just looking at it.

You're not projecting onto it.

You're not thinking about something else.

You're just fully taking in that moment.

And this was around 2013 when I was first starting my meditation journey.

And I was experiencing some of that on my own.

So when I read this, I was like, oh, he's giving words to the things that I'm experiencing.

And when we started bringing that quality into the way that we handle our arguments, where in a moment, okay, we're having an argument.

But we have to understand that one, the person that I'm arguing with is not my enemy.

This is someone that I love.

This is my partner, my roommate, my best friend, someone who's very important to me.

So let me approach this argument without intensity and just do my best to try to listen selflessly.

And what that really means is in this moment when I'm listening to my wife's story and hearing how things move for her,

I'm not thinking about how to retort.

I'm not thinking about how to jump in.

I'm literally doing my best, even though it's quite challenging, I'm doing my best to listen to how things move for her to try to understand where she's coming from.

Like, how did she land into this moment?

And then I can also, after that, share how I landed in this moment.

And we have found that...