Diego Perez

Yes, you don't want to be controlling in your relationship because when you're very attached in a relationship, it will manifest through your actions as control.

And if you're being controlling, then you're going to suck the life out of a relationship.

Instead, what you want to do is try to approach things

from a point of trying to create commitments where both you and your partner are very clearly explaining to each other, this is how I like my happiness to be supported.

And you do your best.

You're not going to do it perfectly, but you do try your best to show up for your partner in ways that are key and essential to them.

But you're not always going to get it right, but at least that effort is there and

It's much more valuable to approach a relationship and try to design the foundation of the home of a relationship around commitments as opposed to attachments and expectations.

And especially when a lot of these expectations are quite silent and it's almost like you're setting up these little traps that your partner eventually falls into because they're not even fully aware of how you want to support them.

No, I'm saying that the care is there, but it's more so compassion.

It's an act of compassion where you're trying to show up for them and you're trying to be there for them and support them, but you're not trying to control them.

So that doesn't mean, you know, a lot of people, when they hear that, when they hear about, like, love is freedom, they get scared because then they think, oh, does that mean that my partner can just sleep with whomever and that there's no rules?

It's like, no, that's not what we're talking about.

There's still...

you're still building your home around commitments and we're here to be with each other.

But what that really means is that you're allowing your partner to evolve, to change, for their preferences to change so that you don't always feel forced to have the same interests, to eat the same foods, to you're letting each other just blossom in the way that feels natural and correct to each other.

And you're still there.

You're still moving side by side along each other

But you're moving in freedom as opposed to trying to be the same person.

You're more so just two rivers flowing alongside each other.