Diego 'Yung Pueblo' Perez

But it's challenging because our society, the way all the apps are with, you know, either dating apps or just all apps in general, right? They're all set up to just make your life easier. Like we live in a DoorDash Uber society and we expect that from our personal growth and from our relationships for it to just be fixed and easy. It's just not going to be like that.

So we need to be really careful about wanting things to be slightly better. And then we end up dumping something great for the chance of something better that is just like an illusion in our minds.

I think one of the main things is it's not so much about the other person, but it's about how you feel when you're with them. I feel like it's really important to know, because I think when I look back to my wife and I, when we got together, if we both had checklists of what we wanted in a partner, neither of us would have checked anything off.

We were just the opposite of what we were both looking for. But what we did both feel was this deep connection magnetic pull towards each other where it was easy to text each other. We wanted to be in contact. We wanted to find times to hang out and life wasn't really getting in the way. But I think having that mutual connectiveness with a person is very important.

I think one of the main things is it's not so much about the other person, but it's about how you feel when you're with them. I feel like it's really important to know, because I think when I look back to my wife and I, when we got together, if we both had checklists of what we wanted in a partner, neither of us would have checked anything off.

I think also clarity is really important. Just being honest. Like if you're really feeling someone, let them know because they might have no idea. You might have gone on a few dates and not know that you're actually really connected hoping to build something with them.

We were just the opposite of what we were both looking for. But what we did both feel was this deep connection magnetic pull towards each other where it was easy to text each other. We wanted to be in contact. We wanted to find times to hang out and life wasn't really getting in the way. But I think having that mutual connectiveness with a person is very important.

But I think it's really tough out there and you have to really trust your intuition and your nervous system and then see more than just what's on the face and the body. Do they have emotional qualities? Like, do they have an emotional skillset? Like, How do they treat other people besides you when you're out together? Like how is their kindness there? Are they reactive?

I think also clarity is really important. Just being honest. Like if you're really feeling someone, let them know because they might have no idea. You might have gone on a few dates and not know that you're actually really connected hoping to build something with them.

How do they deal with a difficult moment? I think that's always a very telling time when you see someone handle a challenge that's unexpected. How do they do it? Are they calm through it or are they super chaotic?

But I think it's really tough out there and you have to really trust your intuition and your nervous system and then see more than just what's on the face and the body. Do they have emotional qualities? Like, do they have an emotional skillset? Like, How do they treat other people besides you when you're out together? Like how is their kindness there? Are they reactive?

I think a lot of that is just simply being growth-oriented. I think that's one thing that's really nice about the time period that we live in. The wellness world has developed so much, but we have seen the value of putting energy into our personal growth, but then we need to take a look at finding a partner who also values growing but doesn't necessarily have to grow in the same way.

How do they deal with a difficult moment? I think that's always a very telling time when you see someone handle a challenge that's unexpected. How do they do it? Are they calm through it or are they super chaotic?

And I think once you can understand, even though myself and this other person don't necessarily use the same tools, like maybe they meditate and maybe you use therapy, but if there's still that inclination to grow, then you're going to be able to overcome tough moments together.

I think a lot of that is just simply being growth oriented. I think that's one thing that's really nice about the time period that we live in. The wellness world has developed so much but we have seen the value of putting energy into our personal growth but then we need to take a look at finding a partner who also values growing, but doesn't necessarily have to grow in the same way.

it's challenging that you need to simultaneously accept your imperfections and you need to accept yourself for who you are. And then also understand that, you know, I have a lot of growing to do. I can be an imperfect person, but I can simultaneously say, okay, I'm not going to expect perfection for myself.

And I think once you can understand, even though myself and this other person don't necessarily use the same tools, like maybe they meditate and maybe you use therapy, but if there's still that inclination to grow, then you're going to be able to overcome tough moments together.

But it would be valuable for me to slow down instead of making decisions really fast, for me to not jump to conclusions and just understanding where your pain points are because often our pain points are self-created. We're causing our own tension, but where are you causing yourself tension and how can you relieve that?

it's challenging that you need to simultaneously accept your imperfections and you need to accept yourself for who you are. And then also understand that, you know, I have a lot of growing to do. I can be an imperfect person, but I can simultaneously say, okay, I'm not going to expect perfection for myself.

But it would be valuable for me to slow down instead of making decisions really fast, for me to not jump to conclusions and just understanding where your pain points are because often our pain points are self-created. We're causing our own tension, but where are you causing yourself tension and how can you relieve that?

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