Donald Robertson

Maybe not in every single case, but I struggle to think of a case where that's not true. In virtually every client I work with, when we sit down and go, what are the consequences of your anger? And one reason for that is that anger by its very nature impairs our ability to think about the consequences themselves. That's why angry people act impulsively, right? It's well known.

There's a large body of psychological research that shows, surprise, surprise, angry people behave impulsively. But they do that because they're not thinking straight and they're not able to really think through and weigh up the consequences of their action. They tend to think very short term. We all do when we get really angry.

There's a large body of psychological research that shows, surprise, surprise, angry people behave impulsively. But they do that because they're not thinking straight and they're not able to really think through and weigh up the consequences of their action. They tend to think very short term. We all do when we get really angry.

There's a large body of psychological research that shows, surprise, surprise, angry people behave impulsively. But they do that because they're not thinking straight and they're not able to really think through and weigh up the consequences of their action. They tend to think very short term. We all do when we get really angry.

um we don't we're not we don't become really good at nuanced social problem solving when we're angry generally it's like you know we become a kind of blunt instrument and that's highlighted by the fact that very often angry people a day later or weeks later regret what they did when they're angry because now they're not angry and they're thinking about the longer term consequences and the

um we don't we're not we don't become really good at nuanced social problem solving when we're angry generally it's like you know we become a kind of blunt instrument and that's highlighted by the fact that very often angry people a day later or weeks later regret what they did when they're angry because now they're not angry and they're thinking about the longer term consequences and the

um we don't we're not we don't become really good at nuanced social problem solving when we're angry generally it's like you know we become a kind of blunt instrument and that's highlighted by the fact that very often angry people a day later or weeks later regret what they did when they're angry because now they're not angry and they're thinking about the longer term consequences and the

So maybe some guy gets really angry, he tells his wife to shut up, and he gets what he wants. Maybe she does shut up, right, in the moment. So it seems successful, makes him seem powerful, and then she divorces him, right? So it destroys the relationship, right? I mean, to caricature it a little bit, but often what we struggle to do is kind of think about the wider impact, right?

So maybe some guy gets really angry, he tells his wife to shut up, and he gets what he wants. Maybe she does shut up, right, in the moment. So it seems successful, makes him seem powerful, and then she divorces him, right? So it destroys the relationship, right? I mean, to caricature it a little bit, but often what we struggle to do is kind of think about the wider impact, right?

So maybe some guy gets really angry, he tells his wife to shut up, and he gets what he wants. Maybe she does shut up, right, in the moment. So it seems successful, makes him seem powerful, and then she divorces him, right? So it destroys the relationship, right? I mean, to caricature it a little bit, but often what we struggle to do is kind of think about the wider impact, right?

And think a little bit about the longer-term consequences of anger, right? And particularly in terms of relationships where it's complex, anger impairs our ability to empathize with other people. And when we get angry, we tend to engage in what's known as hostile attribution bias.

And think a little bit about the longer-term consequences of anger, right? And particularly in terms of relationships where it's complex, anger impairs our ability to empathize with other people. And when we get angry, we tend to engage in what's known as hostile attribution bias.

And think a little bit about the longer-term consequences of anger, right? And particularly in terms of relationships where it's complex, anger impairs our ability to empathize with other people. And when we get angry, we tend to engage in what's known as hostile attribution bias.

So we usually think of people as acting just out of hostility towards us, whereas normally if I say, oh, why did that guy not send me a Christmas card this year? I might go, well, there's probably a bunch of possible explanations for that. Maybe there's several reasons, depending on how you look at it. Whereas if I'm angry, I'll think, just because he's a jerk, that's why he did it.

So we usually think of people as acting just out of hostility towards us, whereas normally if I say, oh, why did that guy not send me a Christmas card this year? I might go, well, there's probably a bunch of possible explanations for that. Maybe there's several reasons, depending on how you look at it. Whereas if I'm angry, I'll think, just because he's a jerk, that's why he did it.

So we usually think of people as acting just out of hostility towards us, whereas normally if I say, oh, why did that guy not send me a Christmas card this year? I might go, well, there's probably a bunch of possible explanations for that. Maybe there's several reasons, depending on how you look at it. Whereas if I'm angry, I'll think, just because he's a jerk, that's why he did it.

Just pure hostility. So we tend to have a very monolithic and simplistic understanding of other people's motives when we're angry. But that makes us rubbish at social problem solving. Anger is really bad for maintaining any kind of healthy relationship. So by its very nature, it means that we tend to underestimate the negative consequences of it. So in therapy, it's easy to go.

Just pure hostility. So we tend to have a very monolithic and simplistic understanding of other people's motives when we're angry. But that makes us rubbish at social problem solving. Anger is really bad for maintaining any kind of healthy relationship. So by its very nature, it means that we tend to underestimate the negative consequences of it. So in therapy, it's easy to go.

Just pure hostility. So we tend to have a very monolithic and simplistic understanding of other people's motives when we're angry. But that makes us rubbish at social problem solving. Anger is really bad for maintaining any kind of healthy relationship. So by its very nature, it means that we tend to underestimate the negative consequences of it. So in therapy, it's easy to go.

You sit with people and you draw a little list and you go, you know, what are all the ways in which anger is harming your physical health, your mental health?