Donna Ashworth

We're not taught how to support people who are grieving.

So we fumble through it, making mistakes.

And we're almost silent and numb because we're frightened that we're going to make it worse for someone.

We're going to remind them that they're grieving.

You can't remind someone that they're grieving.

They know.

And actually saying the person's name with courage and love is a wonderful thing because it brings them back into the space.

It lights up the neural pathways that you made for that person in their lifetime.

So it keeps them alive.

And it casts light on something that can be really dark and dangerous.

So I started writing a few grief poems just for people to use at memorials and funerals.

And I realised quite quickly that it was something that was needed because we're still using the same poems that we had a long, long time ago.

And life has moved on, which I love.

I know that he wouldn't have sold any books in his lifetime because that's not allowed.

You're not meant to sell books if you write poetry.

Yeah, just wait until... You're meant to suffer.

It's very silly, but no, that is a beautiful poem.

Very well used.

And I love it myself.

But I try, if I can, to go into the grief or the element of grief that I'm writing about, but also to come back out at the end with some hope.