Dr. Adjua Smalls-Monte

They might threaten to hurt themselves if you leave because people can start to sense like, okay, something is wrong.

and then comes the acts of violence and that is what is really really hard and it comes as a shock and a surprise but then the perpetrator will say oh it'll never happen again and that tries they try to placate you and you think how can this happen so people think they believe we're humans we have hope and so we stay around we might think okay this will never happen again

Common?

It is common that people don't want to report things.

And even when you start to report things, people then might get scared.

Is something going to happen to me?

Or will this actually be effective?

And they don't go through the process.

And so that's where I say it is very important to have at least one confident, one major support that can help you get through this, help you see it to the end and to not only keep this situation to yourself.

And you do have to be discreet with who you're telling.

Like you mentioned, there's increasing rates of domestic violence, unfortunately.

And we also know that when people try to leave in that two-week period, that is the highest risk of actual physical harm and even murder or death to the person that is trying to leave.

So you can't just always pick up and leave.

And you need to be very strategic in

in your planning.

So if you are able to plan things that you want to do or document what is happening, you write in a journal.

If you have a physical injury to yourself, make sure you're going to the doctor.

Make sure this is written down because later on,

When legal proceedings might start happening, you will need that.

It can be useful in court.