Dr. Alison Wood Brooks

I do not feel comfortable giving him that feedback, but it really is upsetting to me.

So I'm wondering if the opportunity presents itself, if you could say something.

And it doesn't need to be offensive.

It doesn't need to be aggressive.

It could just be like, I would love to hear Allison finish what she was saying.

And now you're really collaborating in the conversation.

And friends want to do that for you, right?

And it's sincere.

She probably does want to hear what you were going to say.

You know what?

It's so often that the people we love the most and are closest to are the victims of these little moments of belittlement because they kind of leak out.

Usually when someone is making a belittling comment, it's really not about whatever they're talking about.

It's about something deeper.

That it's usually about them, right?

That they're feeling insecure about something and they're taking it out on you.

This is true of all moments of difficulty in conversation.

For whatever reason, we have the tendency to have these moments that shoot down to these hurtful parts of our identities.

When I used to teach negotiation, it was so...

You know, when you're negotiating for a house, it's so obviously fraught and hard.

But what I find so much more interesting are these little moments and conversations that should be easy and fun.