Dr. Alok 'Dr. K' Kanodia

I mean, on some level, I'm sure I do, but...

Whatever.

What we focus on here is understanding, right?

You should understand what's happening, not what's fair or unfair, because I don't know what to do about fair or unfair.

The problem with fair or unfair is it requires power outside of me to fix, unless I can fix it.

And so if we look at the size of your solution space, it's in your actions, the way that you talk, the way that you walk, the way that you speak up, the way that you don't speak up.

And the challenge here is that you can say, okay, I'm being kind and supportive, and I am being punished for it.

I am an underappreciated overachiever, and I am being punished for it.

Things are not fair.

And what do we have on the other side of the equation?

In order to have underappreciated overachievers, we have to balance that with overappreciated underachievers.

And we all know who they are, right?

Maybe we're guilty of being one.

And so they are also doing asshole moves, but they are getting rewarded for it, right?

And so if we want to be slick and successful in life, we have to acknowledge this, that there's, you know, you can be good or you can be successful, not both.

I don't, I mean, that's a bit of a caricature, but.

You know, like as like we know that people who are assholes sometimes rise and get promoted or whatever.

Like she's saying, like some guy shows up, has been working there for six months, talks sports with their superior and gets promoted while she's been slaving away for two years and doesn't do anything.

This is exactly my point is like there is a system that people are playing by that no one teaches us the rules towards.

And so what we try to do here is to try to understand that process.