Dr. Alok 'Dr. K' Kanojia

Now I'm asking you to pick something up from the grocery store.

And since you screwed up back then, I'm carrying that resentment forward.

And now when I'm asking you to do something, what?

That's what drama is, right?

When you carry something forward.

So oftentimes, if you're in a place where there's a lot of egos, there will be a lot of drama.

There's going to be a lot of territoriality.

So how do you avoid the drama?

I don't know if you can avoid the drama, but you can try to not get entangled with it.

And the way to not get entangled with the drama is to generally speaking, first and foremost, do not take things personally, right?

Recognize that the reason that someone is an asshole to you is not because there's something wrong with you.

It's because they're an asshole, right?

So it's hard to avoid, but you cannot get entangled in it.

And generally speaking, the right way to get entangled with it is to be neutral, to be of limited and appropriate responsiveness, but not to overcompensate or undercompensate.

So oftentimes neutral will do the trick, but sometimes someone who is very drama prone will put a target on your back and then they'll start bullying you.

And then you can't be like neutral doesn't mean inactive.

That just means like not taking a side.

So defending yourself, setting limits with people, that's like part of healthy neutrality.

Right.

So if I set a boundary, it's not like I'm attacking.