Dr. Alok 'Dr. K' Kanojia

So those social interactions that you force yourself into will become traumatic.

And as they become traumatic, then they will reinforce your anxiety.

Right.

So if I just tell you to go out and act doesn't work.

So if you're someone who is paralyzed by anxiety, right, I'm afraid to ask for a promotion.

Then when you go in and you ask for a promotion, you're stuttering.

You're not confident.

You don't really believe you're afraid of what they're going to think of you.

So you don't project your confidence and then you don't end up getting promoted anyway.

This is the problem.

When we are anxious about doing something and we try to do it, our anxiety sabotages our ability to do the thing.

So there are two solutions to this.

One is we can do an exposure therapy where we engage in the behavior over and over and over and over and over again until our anxiety gets numbed out.

Or we can do what Viktor Frankl called paradoxical intention.

Now, what does this mean?

that you should wish for the thing that you fear the most.

This is Frankl we're talking about, okay?

So he's like, look, if you're afraid of something, just wish for it, right?

Just be like, and I think now in the current society, we talk about acceptance.

So I think this is another version of that.