Dr. Alok (Dr. K)

But I'm not actually moving forward in any way.

I'm not actually fixing my problems.

And then the thing that makes that even worse is as I engage with pornography, as I engage in a lot of high dopaminergic activities, the effect of that on my body, on my mind, on my ability to handle negative emotions, to sit with emotions, my capacity for empathy, all of these things actually get impaired.

And as those things get impaired, my ability to engage in relationships and end up with oxytocin drops.

So the effect of chronic dopamine extraction on our brain sabotages my ability to engage in relationships.

That's the real problem.

But if you aren't getting oxytocin, how can you stand a life without dopamine?

That's the thing, right?

So there's so many words there that are really important.

If you aren't getting something, then your focus should be on getting it.

And how can you stand life without dopamine?

That's where there's a certain amount of distress tolerance, which I know you all hate to hear.

But there's tons of studies that show that people who fall into addictions have a low capacity for distress tolerance.

And so the ability to sit and sit with something without reacting to it, because this is really important to understand.

See, when I have a negative feeling, if I have to react to it, what that means is that I'm not in control of myself or my life.

If I cannot sit with sadness and I have to turn to dopamine to make it go away, that means that if I am sad, I will engage in this action.

A leads to B. And this is what we see with sort of behavioral patterns of addiction is that the brain or body or human doesn't know an alternative.

And what that means is that your feelings will dictate your actions.

And if your feelings dictate your actions, then your feelings will dictate your life.

And this is why we have a mental health crisis.