Dr. Alok Kanojia

So back when I used to feel fear because I was being hunted by a tiger, the natural impulses that our fear encouraged us to do don't work when you've got to pay rent at the end of the month or you've got to pay your mortgage or you've got to do well on your performance review.

So oftentimes what we do is we think that feeling authentically means letting our emotion run the show.

We don't want to do that.

We want to ask ourselves, what is this emotion telling me?

Why do I feel fear?

What am I afraid of?

And I don't even think what am I afraid of is the right question.

It's way too like –

Self-help.

It's way too psychotherapy for me.

It's what is my fear telling me?

Perfect, right?

That this is not there.

And so he's trying so hard, right?

So the anxiety is like clinging onto his job.

But actually, once you understand the emotion, it's actually walking away.

And so once you have mastery over your emotions in this way, and I think mastery is maybe a better word, it makes life like so much better.

right?

That's when we talk about distress tolerance, like that's what I'm talking about.

It's not just suppression.