Dr. Alok Kanojia

What I gain is a feeling of pride, potentially, right? When I do what I should do. The driver for shoulds is our relationship to like other human beings, which is why if there's something you should do in life and no one is watching, you'll never do it. Because literally should comes from where does should come from?

Should is a societal expectation, which even if you believe you should do things, where did you learn that you should do things from other people? So should is fundamentally a social construct and involves the social circuits of the brain. Which is why like when someone's watching us, oh, where do you want to eat? Now I'm going to order a salad when I go out with my friends.

Should is a societal expectation, which even if you believe you should do things, where did you learn that you should do things from other people? So should is fundamentally a social construct and involves the social circuits of the brain. Which is why like when someone's watching us, oh, where do you want to eat? Now I'm going to order a salad when I go out with my friends.

Should is a societal expectation, which even if you believe you should do things, where did you learn that you should do things from other people? So should is fundamentally a social construct and involves the social circuits of the brain. Which is why like when someone's watching us, oh, where do you want to eat? Now I'm going to order a salad when I go out with my friends.

But like when I'm going by myself, it's going to be fried chicken and French fries. I feel seen. Yes. So should is never going to work. I feel attacked, actually. Unfortunately, right? If only we could be seen all the time. Exactly. Man, I'm glad I'm not alone. So want comes from the nucleus accumbens. Want or desire comes from craving and behavioral reinforcement and the seeking of pleasure.

But like when I'm going by myself, it's going to be fried chicken and French fries. I feel seen. Yes. So should is never going to work. I feel attacked, actually. Unfortunately, right? If only we could be seen all the time. Exactly. Man, I'm glad I'm not alone. So want comes from the nucleus accumbens. Want or desire comes from craving and behavioral reinforcement and the seeking of pleasure.

But like when I'm going by myself, it's going to be fried chicken and French fries. I feel seen. Yes. So should is never going to work. I feel attacked, actually. Unfortunately, right? If only we could be seen all the time. Exactly. Man, I'm glad I'm not alone. So want comes from the nucleus accumbens. Want or desire comes from craving and behavioral reinforcement and the seeking of pleasure.

So these two things are fighting. And if you are fighting in shoulds versus wants, the only way the shoulds will win is if someone is watching, which is why as people become more isolated, their lives have gotten worse because so few people are watching now that we get away with it. You used to not get away with it because someone was paying attention.

So these two things are fighting. And if you are fighting in shoulds versus wants, the only way the shoulds will win is if someone is watching, which is why as people become more isolated, their lives have gotten worse because so few people are watching now that we get away with it. You used to not get away with it because someone was paying attention.

So these two things are fighting. And if you are fighting in shoulds versus wants, the only way the shoulds will win is if someone is watching, which is why as people become more isolated, their lives have gotten worse because so few people are watching now that we get away with it. You used to not get away with it because someone was paying attention.

That's the first thing to understand. Wants and shoulds are like fundamentally different. They can compete, but we need social environment to make them really work. So then the second question is like, OK, if you don't really want to do it, you should do it, but you don't want to do it. That doesn't activate our behavior in the right way because there's a should moving in one direction.

That's the first thing to understand. Wants and shoulds are like fundamentally different. They can compete, but we need social environment to make them really work. So then the second question is like, OK, if you don't really want to do it, you should do it, but you don't want to do it. That doesn't activate our behavior in the right way because there's a should moving in one direction.

That's the first thing to understand. Wants and shoulds are like fundamentally different. They can compete, but we need social environment to make them really work. So then the second question is like, OK, if you don't really want to do it, you should do it, but you don't want to do it. That doesn't activate our behavior in the right way because there's a should moving in one direction.

There's a want moving in the other direction. So if we want to motivate behavior, right, motivation comes from the nucleus accumbens. We have to have a motivation to do something. But oftentimes it's really interesting. So if you move one level back, do you wish you were someone else? Now, that's something you're motivated towards.

There's a want moving in the other direction. So if we want to motivate behavior, right, motivation comes from the nucleus accumbens. We have to have a motivation to do something. But oftentimes it's really interesting. So if you move one level back, do you wish you were someone else? Now, that's something you're motivated towards.

There's a want moving in the other direction. So if we want to motivate behavior, right, motivation comes from the nucleus accumbens. We have to have a motivation to do something. But oftentimes it's really interesting. So if you move one level back, do you wish you were someone else? Now, that's something you're motivated towards.

And this is something that we've learned in psychiatry is that if you can't solve this problem, oftentimes moving one level back is where the money is. So now if I ask you, OK, so you don't really want to work out. Fair enough. Do you wish you were someone who wanted to work out? And that's absolutely yes. I wish I was like these other people that enjoyed working out.

And this is something that we've learned in psychiatry is that if you can't solve this problem, oftentimes moving one level back is where the money is. So now if I ask you, OK, so you don't really want to work out. Fair enough. Do you wish you were someone who wanted to work out? And that's absolutely yes. I wish I was like these other people that enjoyed working out.

And this is something that we've learned in psychiatry is that if you can't solve this problem, oftentimes moving one level back is where the money is. So now if I ask you, OK, so you don't really want to work out. Fair enough. Do you wish you were someone who wanted to work out? And that's absolutely yes. I wish I was like these other people that enjoyed working out.

I wish I was a different person. Now that opens the door to all kinds of things. It opens the door to self-judgment, which is like good in a way, right? Because now we're exploring this stuff. And that's the stuff that gets in the way of you actually engaging, like all these negative emotions.