Dr. Alok Kanuja (Dr. K)

It can kind of strike, like you can meet someone on the street and they can say, hey, how are you?

And then suddenly you get invaded by the limer beast.

So it is very rare that limerent objects are, I don't know if I should say very rare, but it's unusually common, I should say, that limerent objects are not people that you have very close relationships with.

Sometimes you can develop limerence for someone like a coworker, someone that you do interact with.

But the whole point is that your experience of interactions with them carries a lot more meaning than what is externally observable.

So even if they don't text you back or they say, hi, how are you?

Or they don't say hi to you one morning, your mind will be super focused on these small signals and interpreting those small signals.

An aching of the heart, like literally this is like a physical sensation that people will have, especially when uncertainty is strong.

OK, a feeling of buoyancy, a feeling of walking on air when reciprocation seems evident.

Another key feature of limerence is the roller coaster nature of it.

There's the primary emotional experience of the people that I've kind of worked with who are limerent are is uncertainty.

They're obsessing over.

Does this person notice me?

Does this person not notice me?

Have they stopped noticing me?

Are they going to notice me more tomorrow?

They're very, very uncertain and anxious in relation to that person.

And like we said, they're kind of hyper-focused, maybe all, or hyper-focused on small things that this person does or doesn't do, which creates a lot of anxiety.

And then also, when there is some form of reciprocation, you read a lot into it, and then you feel absolutely amazing.

So it's this kind of ping-ponging between intense uncertainty, does this person notice you, is it possible that they'll reciprocate, and small gestures that usually have