Dr. Andrew Huberman

Don't make them play the drums.

So these impingements actually, I think, are problematic.

They lead to a lot of confusion.

And if anything else, they take us away from that unique wiring to be our own unique expression.

Becky Kennedy does describe a few key principles of parenting that I think are really interesting that extend to all kinds of relationships.

She talks about the main role of parenting, and to some extent, all relationships, is to create boundaries and to make kids feel safe.

Seems pretty good to me.

The other short list of two things that she describes how to do this in ways that are highly actionable is that

Every child, I found this really interesting, every child wants to feel real, like they want to feel like they're real, like they're seen, they exist, and they want to feel safe.

And so that one of the things that really rung in my ears and still does from that episode recording, again out this week, is that when a kid or an adult says something about how they feel, that

perhaps one of the best responses we can give them is, you know, I believe you.

Like, it doesn't, you're not saying that, like you don't want to go to school, don't go to school, right?

We're not saying you don't enjoy doing something, don't do it, or you want like a fifth serving of candy.

You can say, like, I believe you.

No.

And so I think that a lot of it is we get confused with terms like validation and listening.

I mean, what I like so much about what Becky offers, and I do hope to do a child development series in the not-too-distant future, what I like so much about what Becky offers is that it boils down to simple concepts like we want to be...

real, which I guess is kind of an analog for seen, and we want to feel safe.

Not unlike when we did the podcast series on mental health with Dr. Paul Conti.

He said, you know, it's really about mental health is really about agency and gratitude.