Dr. Anna Lembke

I would say succinctly, yes, I do believe we have gone a bit soft, but I don't think it's a moral problem or a character problem. I actually think it's a physiological problem based on the fact that we're insulated from pain and we're exposed to all kinds of pleasures.

I would say succinctly, yes, I do believe we have gone a bit soft, but I don't think it's a moral problem or a character problem. I actually think it's a physiological problem based on the fact that we're insulated from pain and we're exposed to all kinds of pleasures.

So I really think that we have individually and collectively reset our reward pathways to the side of pain, meaning that the gremlins have now accumulated on the pain side. We've tipped ourselves to the side of pain.

So I really think that we have individually and collectively reset our reward pathways to the side of pain, meaning that the gremlins have now accumulated on the pain side. We've tipped ourselves to the side of pain.

Because we've had so much pleasure. Yes. Thanks for having me clarify. So that now we need more and more pleasure to feel any pleasure at all. And the slightest little pain and we're experiencing excruciating pain.

Because we've had so much pleasure. Yes. Thanks for having me clarify. So that now we need more and more pleasure to feel any pleasure at all. And the slightest little pain and we're experiencing excruciating pain.

You add to that the fact that we have a culture that tells us we should never be in pain and that if we are, something's wrong with our life or something's wrong with our wife or something's wrong with our job. And so now you've got a whole generation of folks who feels like They're experiencing more pain because they literally do not have the mental calluses to tolerate pain.

You add to that the fact that we have a culture that tells us we should never be in pain and that if we are, something's wrong with our life or something's wrong with our wife or something's wrong with our job. And so now you've got a whole generation of folks who feels like They're experiencing more pain because they literally do not have the mental calluses to tolerate pain.

And now they're being told, and if you have any pain at all, you must have something wrong with your brain. Go see a doctor. Go take a pill. And I think this is really – this is not a direction we want to keep going in.

And now they're being told, and if you have any pain at all, you must have something wrong with your brain. Go see a doctor. Go take a pill. And I think this is really – this is not a direction we want to keep going in.

Let me answer this by talking a little bit about the role of language and narrative, because I think this is very fascinating. And as a psychiatrist and a therapist, that is my bread and butter, right, is narrative, how people tell their stories. By giving language to our experience, we gain awareness of our conceptual models of the world. And what I have learned over time is

Let me answer this by talking a little bit about the role of language and narrative, because I think this is very fascinating. And as a psychiatrist and a therapist, that is my bread and butter, right, is narrative, how people tell their stories. By giving language to our experience, we gain awareness of our conceptual models of the world. And what I have learned over time is

is that the way people tell their stories is a window into their model of the world and that there are healthy narratives and not so healthy narratives. And in general, in my clinical experience, when people come into the room, And they tell their life story in such a way that they're always the victim of other people and circumstance in the world.

is that the way people tell their stories is a window into their model of the world and that there are healthy narratives and not so healthy narratives. And in general, in my clinical experience, when people come into the room, And they tell their life story in such a way that they're always the victim of other people and circumstance in the world.

Those are people who are, number one, not doing well. And number two, not going to do well going forward unless they change that narrative to acknowledge what they've contributed to the problem. And the reason for that is because the way that we narrate our lives is not just a way to understand our past. It actually is our roadmap for the future. So if I see myself as a victim,

Those are people who are, number one, not doing well. And number two, not going to do well going forward unless they change that narrative to acknowledge what they've contributed to the problem. And the reason for that is because the way that we narrate our lives is not just a way to understand our past. It actually is our roadmap for the future. So if I see myself as a victim,

and that's my narrative, I will literally create victimhood for myself going forward. I will literally change my sensed experience so that whatever happens, I'll make sure I end up as a victim. When people with severe addiction get into recovery, one of the most palpable changes that I see is is the way that they narrate their lives.

and that's my narrative, I will literally create victimhood for myself going forward. I will literally change my sensed experience so that whatever happens, I'll make sure I end up as a victim. When people with severe addiction get into recovery, one of the most palpable changes that I see is is the way that they narrate their lives.

They go from, in addiction, talking about their lives as if it's always everybody else's fault, to in recovery, talking about their lives in a way that says, oh, you know what? I could have done better here. Or, you know what? That's something that I keep doing that really messes with my life that I want to change, and I'm going to figure out how to change that.

They go from, in addiction, talking about their lives as if it's always everybody else's fault, to in recovery, talking about their lives in a way that says, oh, you know what? I could have done better here. Or, you know what? That's something that I keep doing that really messes with my life that I want to change, and I'm going to figure out how to change that.