Dr. Becky Kennedy

I'm so glad you're feeling guilty. That's the right way to feel. Now, there must have been something so hard about seeing something so shiny and fun that you don't have. I totally get that. And you're right. That's not in your values to take it. So that's a useful feeling. That feeling is going to help you not do something like that again. Let's figure out what you can do. Not just to say sorry.

This is what parents miss. You know what's going to happen another time? You're going to see something else pretty cool. Someone's cubby. And you know what most people think? You're going to have the thought again. I would too. What can you do the next time you have that thought? All of this comes because of guilt. Useful feeling.

This is what parents miss. You know what's going to happen another time? You're going to see something else pretty cool. Someone's cubby. And you know what most people think? You're going to have the thought again. I would too. What can you do the next time you have that thought? All of this comes because of guilt. Useful feeling.

This is what parents miss. You know what's going to happen another time? You're going to see something else pretty cool. Someone's cubby. And you know what most people think? You're going to have the thought again. I would too. What can you do the next time you have that thought? All of this comes because of guilt. Useful feeling.

Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. Now, to me, guilt is one of the most misunderstood feelings because what you hear all the time, and you'll hear how much it kind of conflicts with this definition, is something like this. I haven't seen my friends in years. There's finally a dinner. but it would require me not to put my kid down to sleep.

Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. Now, to me, guilt is one of the most misunderstood feelings because what you hear all the time, and you'll hear how much it kind of conflicts with this definition, is something like this. I haven't seen my friends in years. There's finally a dinner. but it would require me not to put my kid down to sleep.

Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. Now, to me, guilt is one of the most misunderstood feelings because what you hear all the time, and you'll hear how much it kind of conflicts with this definition, is something like this. I haven't seen my friends in years. There's finally a dinner. but it would require me not to put my kid down to sleep.

You know, and if I'm talking to someone, I'd say, okay, well, I'm guessing you're not leaving your kid alone. Now, again, my husband or my mom, someone who's a totally safe adult, Becky, I told my kid and she was clinging to me like, no, mommy, I needed to be you. I need to be you. And so I'm not going to dinner. Do you know what I'm going to say, Andrew? Because I feel so guilty. This is right.

You know, and if I'm talking to someone, I'd say, okay, well, I'm guessing you're not leaving your kid alone. Now, again, my husband or my mom, someone who's a totally safe adult, Becky, I told my kid and she was clinging to me like, no, mommy, I needed to be you. I need to be you. And so I'm not going to dinner. Do you know what I'm going to say, Andrew? Because I feel so guilty. This is right.

You know, and if I'm talking to someone, I'd say, okay, well, I'm guessing you're not leaving your kid alone. Now, again, my husband or my mom, someone who's a totally safe adult, Becky, I told my kid and she was clinging to me like, no, mommy, I needed to be you. I need to be you. And so I'm not going to dinner. Do you know what I'm going to say, Andrew? Because I feel so guilty. This is right.

Oh, someone asked me to be in the PTA meeting. I'm so busy. I can't, but I can't do it because I feel so guilty. Okay. Again, I'm just curious. I say, well, it sounds like you really want to go to dinner with your friends. She's like, oh, I do. All I do is parent these days. I literally haven't seen these friends in years. They're in town. And I said, tell me about your friendships. Yes.

Oh, someone asked me to be in the PTA meeting. I'm so busy. I can't, but I can't do it because I feel so guilty. Okay. Again, I'm just curious. I say, well, it sounds like you really want to go to dinner with your friends. She's like, oh, I do. All I do is parent these days. I literally haven't seen these friends in years. They're in town. And I said, tell me about your friendships. Yes.

Oh, someone asked me to be in the PTA meeting. I'm so busy. I can't, but I can't do it because I feel so guilty. Okay. Again, I'm just curious. I say, well, it sounds like you really want to go to dinner with your friends. She's like, oh, I do. All I do is parent these days. I literally haven't seen these friends in years. They're in town. And I said, tell me about your friendships. Yes.

I know that I'm kind of more than just someone who puts down my kid for bed. And I love doing that. But this matters, too. So I said, this is really interesting. You really value your friendships. your life right now feels out of balance and that your friendships, that part of your burner of your stove is like really low. Okay. And you're not going because you feel guilty.

I know that I'm kind of more than just someone who puts down my kid for bed. And I love doing that. But this matters, too. So I said, this is really interesting. You really value your friendships. your life right now feels out of balance and that your friendships, that part of your burner of your stove is like really low. Okay. And you're not going because you feel guilty.

I know that I'm kind of more than just someone who puts down my kid for bed. And I love doing that. But this matters, too. So I said, this is really interesting. You really value your friendships. your life right now feels out of balance and that your friendships, that part of your burner of your stove is like really low. Okay. And you're not going because you feel guilty.

I just want to share an idea. Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. It seems like going to dinner would be in line with your values and almost, it's like, yeah, it's true. So what is this feeling? And here's what I think the feeling is. I call it not guilt just because I haven't figured out a more sophisticated term. But here's what I think is happening.

I just want to share an idea. Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. It seems like going to dinner would be in line with your values and almost, it's like, yeah, it's true. So what is this feeling? And here's what I think the feeling is. I call it not guilt just because I haven't figured out a more sophisticated term. But here's what I think is happening.

I just want to share an idea. Guilt is a feeling you have when you act out of alignment with your values. It seems like going to dinner would be in line with your values and almost, it's like, yeah, it's true. So what is this feeling? And here's what I think the feeling is. I call it not guilt just because I haven't figured out a more sophisticated term. But here's what I think is happening.

A lot of us, especially women, when we were growing up, we learned to notice everyone's feelings around us. And we learned that our value, really, and our worth, really, and we were kind of best and good girls when we took care of everyone else's feelings except for our own.