Dr. Becky Kennedy

So what I would say, even now, a big thing also is learning about the stuff and educating ourselves doesn't mean we're going to be perfect parents. There are no perfect parents in my family. We have a mantra that says perfect is creepy in general. I think that's helpful to think about. So we're going to get it wrong. But actually, then we can repair and go back to our kids.

So what I would say, even now, a big thing also is learning about the stuff and educating ourselves doesn't mean we're going to be perfect parents. There are no perfect parents in my family. We have a mantra that says perfect is creepy in general. I think that's helpful to think about. So we're going to get it wrong. But actually, then we can repair and go back to our kids.

So I think you can say, hey, I want to talk about something that happened. You heard that loud noise. And then we need to give our kids stories. Take all the disparate things kids notice and weave them together. And we all do better with a quilt than random patchwork floating. Because when kids have patchwork that isn't quilted together by a parent, they have to make up their own story.

So I think you can say, hey, I want to talk about something that happened. You heard that loud noise. And then we need to give our kids stories. Take all the disparate things kids notice and weave them together. And we all do better with a quilt than random patchwork floating. Because when kids have patchwork that isn't quilted together by a parent, they have to make up their own story.

So I think you can say, hey, I want to talk about something that happened. You heard that loud noise. And then we need to give our kids stories. Take all the disparate things kids notice and weave them together. And we all do better with a quilt than random patchwork floating. Because when kids have patchwork that isn't quilted together by a parent, they have to make up their own story.

Then they tend to perseverate on it. Your daughter going through it in play, I actually think is adaptive because kids learn through play and they gain mastery through play. Like for all I know, she's like, and then the bad guys left and she's just actually trying to gain mastery of it. But sometimes kids do it in play over and over because they're like, nobody's telling me what's happening.

Then they tend to perseverate on it. Your daughter going through it in play, I actually think is adaptive because kids learn through play and they gain mastery through play. Like for all I know, she's like, and then the bad guys left and she's just actually trying to gain mastery of it. But sometimes kids do it in play over and over because they're like, nobody's telling me what's happening.

Then they tend to perseverate on it. Your daughter going through it in play, I actually think is adaptive because kids learn through play and they gain mastery through play. Like for all I know, she's like, and then the bad guys left and she's just actually trying to gain mastery of it. But sometimes kids do it in play over and over because they're like, nobody's telling me what's happening.

So I just have to figure it out. So I would just tell her the story, a version that's appropriate. So again, there's a version of like how truthful only a parent knows the version of truth that, again, isn't avoiding because that just makes kids fear and is developmentally appropriate. But like death is a good example. Some people say weird things. Grandma's in the clouds. Grandma's sleeping.

So I just have to figure it out. So I would just tell her the story, a version that's appropriate. So again, there's a version of like how truthful only a parent knows the version of truth that, again, isn't avoiding because that just makes kids fear and is developmentally appropriate. But like death is a good example. Some people say weird things. Grandma's in the clouds. Grandma's sleeping.

So I just have to figure it out. So I would just tell her the story, a version that's appropriate. So again, there's a version of like how truthful only a parent knows the version of truth that, again, isn't avoiding because that just makes kids fear and is developmentally appropriate. But like death is a good example. Some people say weird things. Grandma's in the clouds. Grandma's sleeping.

Like, What? Grandma died. Death is when the body stopped working.

Like, What? Grandma died. Death is when the body stopped working.

Like, What? Grandma died. Death is when the body stopped working.

Oh, no, we're not going to see her. Thank you for asking me that question. Again, it kind of goes back to resilience. When we believe kids can tolerate something, they become able. to tolerate that thing.

Oh, no, we're not going to see her. Thank you for asking me that question. Again, it kind of goes back to resilience. When we believe kids can tolerate something, they become able. to tolerate that thing.

Oh, no, we're not going to see her. Thank you for asking me that question. Again, it kind of goes back to resilience. When we believe kids can tolerate something, they become able. to tolerate that thing.

And just a line that I find sometimes naming what's true is one of the best things we can do. So it might seem simple, but even just saying to your daughter, you're still thinking a lot about what happened and period. Like that actually is really helpful for a kid. You're just noticing they're processing. We're not fixing. We're just, wow, you're still really thinking about that.

And just a line that I find sometimes naming what's true is one of the best things we can do. So it might seem simple, but even just saying to your daughter, you're still thinking a lot about what happened and period. Like that actually is really helpful for a kid. You're just noticing they're processing. We're not fixing. We're just, wow, you're still really thinking about that.

And just a line that I find sometimes naming what's true is one of the best things we can do. So it might seem simple, but even just saying to your daughter, you're still thinking a lot about what happened and period. Like that actually is really helpful for a kid. You're just noticing they're processing. We're not fixing. We're just, wow, you're still really thinking about that.