Dr. Becky Kennedy
speaker
3,434 appearances
7 recordings
6 series
first heard Feb 2024
last heard 18 Jun
Dr. Becky Kennedy’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.
Appearances
Okay.
Yes.
have a lot of focus on gazing out and determining their inner reality by what other people think about them. And the people who do not light up as much are the people who gaze in and have a deep sense of themselves even in the face
That's exactly right. And to me, like, I always, I say this to people I manage, I say, like, I think about this in general with adults. Like, I think such an empowering thing as an adult is just to know where you are in any given scale. So for me, as a leader, I'm always gas. I'm like, go, go, go. We can do this. We can get this accomplished. I'm probably like pretty far in that.
And given that, I know it's really important for me to have people around me who sometimes say like, whoa, let's look at this first, right? Yeah. I also know that sometimes if I do have a like, maybe I should slow this down. I should like really listen to that because that's like not right. But knowing where I am on a scale is important.
I talk about someone that I manage who she really needs to be more direct with the people she manages, just like, you know, like sometimes ask questions when she really wants statements and can have a little higher standard.
And I think it's helpful to know where she is in that scale because I remember saying, like, I want you to go as far as you can toward the other direction without being disrespectful because it's almost impossible to do that, right? right? And so I think for adults to know, let's say I gaze in or I more gaze out, neither is better or worse.
Probably again, mental health and resilience is about having just a lack of rigidity. And so to say, what is my starting point? Like anyone listening, what is my starting point? There's no morality. It's literally not better or worse. It just gives me information about which direction to experiment with. And I like to make this a concrete experiment, right? So
Let's say you are someone who tends to gaze out before you gaze in. And you're always like, I can't do this thing I want to do because it would inconvenience someone. I told this story the other day on my Instagram and people went bananas about it. I was at the airport and I got a cup of coffee in the morning. And I like my coffee with just like a really little bit of milk. Right.
And I know to specify it if I'm asking someone else. I went to the counter and I said, hey, can I get a medium coffee? Not black, just a little, little bit of milk, pretty close to black. Sure. No problem. I go, I wait in line, then it's on the counter. I pick it up, Becky. And it's like light as can be. I got back online. I brought the coffee. And I said, hey, I asked for this.
I know there's a lot of people probably got lost. I asked for this, you know, darker. Could you pour out a good amount of this and then refill it with coffee? The person, you know, who knows if it could have gone differently a different day. Oh, right. No problem. Here you go. This happens with things that are so much bigger than coffee.
But the coffee example is such a good one because what I'm doing in that moment is is I'm saying I'm allowed to have my coffee the way I wanted it and asked for it, even if it's awkward or inconveniences the other person. Now, can people be on the opposite extreme? And can someone hear this and be like, I probably need to do a little bit less of my own needs. That's what I'm saying.
You have to know you are. But what I have found, at least with moms, is the idea of, ooh, you know, I asked for almond milk and this is whole milk. Or I always, I used to give my clients this experiment who had this struggle. I said, I want you at the grocery store. I have to be basically done checking out to say, oh, you know what? I actually don't need those paper towels. I can't even tell you.
People are like, I can't do that. I can't like return it. Like, oh my goodness. It was like a panic attack. And the panic, the panic feeling is that would be a completely new circuit. That would be me saying, I'm willing to do something to meet my own needs. I actually don't need that paper towel. Even though it could get an eye roll or inconvenience temporarily someone else.
Those little experiments, and it might be the opposite. It might be saying to my partner tonight, you know what? We always sit down and talk about my work. And I actually did have a stressful day, but you know what? I wanna hear about your day. You go first. That's also an experiment. And for someone who's on that extreme, they're gonna also have a panic attack.
They're gonna be like, this is deeply uncomfortable. But just knowing where you are in the spectrum gives you the information you need to get a little bit of balance.
Yeah.
But this actually relates to what we started with in a way. I'm going to circle it back there, which is... And because I hear this a lot, you know, kind of some kids these days, they don't, They don't know how to tolerate stress or they're always overwhelmed. But part of it is, again, maybe this is my MGI, maybe they haven't been told the right story about stress or anxiety.
This came up with my kids the other day. My older son had his first basketball game of the season. And he goes, oh, I'm really nervous, feeling a little anxious. And it's just so interesting, like, the way we respond in little ways to our kids in these moments form... Like, the way they end up thinking about those feelings later on. I said, well, of course you're nervous.
Being nervous means you care. You really care about basketball. Right? And obviously we've had many conversations about what feelings mean. But it was so interesting. I watched him go... Yeah, I do care. Kind of in that little sentence, being nervous means you care. I mean, think about it. You're never nervous about anything you don't care about, right?
Showing 1381–1400 of 3,434 · page 70 of 172
← Previous
Next →