Dr. Becky Kennedy
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Yeah, and I think everything I'm about to share applies, you know, in the workplace, right? Like, can a boss be, you know, really upset in front of the person they manage, management, right? So it's all the same stuff. So I guess zooming out is a start. Emotions are normal. Emotions are unstoppable. You can't not feel sad just because you have your five-year-old in the room, right?
And I think the other thing that kind of forms my perspective is it's really hard to not show someone that you're sad. Like, you might think you're doing that well, but kids are extra perceptive. They are actually built to be more perceptive than we are because their survival depends on adults. So they have to always notice, is my adult around? Is my adult okay?
And I think the other thing that kind of forms my perspective is it's really hard to not show someone that you're sad. Like, you might think you're doing that well, but kids are extra perceptive. They are actually built to be more perceptive than we are because their survival depends on adults. So they have to always notice, is my adult around? Is my adult okay?
And I think the other thing that kind of forms my perspective is it's really hard to not show someone that you're sad. Like, you might think you're doing that well, but kids are extra perceptive. They are actually built to be more perceptive than we are because their survival depends on adults. So they have to always notice, is my adult around? Is my adult okay?
So they really attune to what's going on for us, right? And so I think... The kind of question is less, do I show my emotions to my kid or not? And it's more, okay, if I'm sad, my kid is going to notice. What do I do then? And as a principal, one of the things I think about often is information doesn't scare kids as much as the absence of information scares kids.
So they really attune to what's going on for us, right? And so I think... The kind of question is less, do I show my emotions to my kid or not? And it's more, okay, if I'm sad, my kid is going to notice. What do I do then? And as a principal, one of the things I think about often is information doesn't scare kids as much as the absence of information scares kids.
So they really attune to what's going on for us, right? And so I think... The kind of question is less, do I show my emotions to my kid or not? And it's more, okay, if I'm sad, my kid is going to notice. What do I do then? And as a principal, one of the things I think about often is information doesn't scare kids as much as the absence of information scares kids.
So let's say there's something really awful. I don't know. As a parent, you're a family member. Someone died of cancer. I don't know. There's something really horrible that you just found out, right? There's wildfires right now. Let's say you evacuated and you found out your house burned down. You're sad. Your child is going to notice that and you want your child to notice that.
So let's say there's something really awful. I don't know. As a parent, you're a family member. Someone died of cancer. I don't know. There's something really horrible that you just found out, right? There's wildfires right now. Let's say you evacuated and you found out your house burned down. You're sad. Your child is going to notice that and you want your child to notice that.
So let's say there's something really awful. I don't know. As a parent, you're a family member. Someone died of cancer. I don't know. There's something really horrible that you just found out, right? There's wildfires right now. Let's say you evacuated and you found out your house burned down. You're sad. Your child is going to notice that and you want your child to notice that.
You don't want your kid to be a teenager and adult who goes around the world unable to pick up on emotional cues from other people. That's not adaptive. And so the patterns we set with our kids when they're young inform their view of the world when they're older. And so here I am, let's say it's the situation of somebody dying and I'm upset.
You don't want your kid to be a teenager and adult who goes around the world unable to pick up on emotional cues from other people. That's not adaptive. And so the patterns we set with our kids when they're young inform their view of the world when they're older. And so here I am, let's say it's the situation of somebody dying and I'm upset.
You don't want your kid to be a teenager and adult who goes around the world unable to pick up on emotional cues from other people. That's not adaptive. And so the patterns we set with our kids when they're young inform their view of the world when they're older. And so here I am, let's say it's the situation of somebody dying and I'm upset.
First of all, as a parent, tell yourself, it's not my kid seeing me sad that's going to destabilize them. It's seeing me sad and me making up a bogus story or denying it because then my kid goes, pretty sure my mom was upset. Oh, she's not? Oh, she's pretending like nothing happened? Oh, she looks sad, but she's saying she's not sad. That is really upsetting.
First of all, as a parent, tell yourself, it's not my kid seeing me sad that's going to destabilize them. It's seeing me sad and me making up a bogus story or denying it because then my kid goes, pretty sure my mom was upset. Oh, she's not? Oh, she's pretending like nothing happened? Oh, she looks sad, but she's saying she's not sad. That is really upsetting.
First of all, as a parent, tell yourself, it's not my kid seeing me sad that's going to destabilize them. It's seeing me sad and me making up a bogus story or denying it because then my kid goes, pretty sure my mom was upset. Oh, she's not? Oh, she's pretending like nothing happened? Oh, she looks sad, but she's saying she's not sad. That is really upsetting.
It would be like hearing your boss say, oh, yeah, 20% layoffs. What are we doing? I don't know. Oh, hi. Everything's great. How are you?
It would be like hearing your boss say, oh, yeah, 20% layoffs. What are we doing? I don't know. Oh, hi. Everything's great. How are you?
It would be like hearing your boss say, oh, yeah, 20% layoffs. What are we doing? I don't know. Oh, hi. Everything's great. How are you?
Scary.