Dr. Becky Kennedy

Like if you saw that, you'd be like, dude, like what? Just, just a bench, you know? And so how do we help our kids? feel like essentially like it's okay to be them no matter what bench they're on. Or it's really, it's okay to be you even when you don't make the lacrosse team. Because that's really the essence. That's the core thing that resilience is about.

Like if you saw that, you'd be like, dude, like what? Just, just a bench, you know? And so how do we help our kids? feel like essentially like it's okay to be them no matter what bench they're on. Or it's really, it's okay to be you even when you don't make the lacrosse team. Because that's really the essence. That's the core thing that resilience is about.

Great. So to me, these three lines will play that out. So to me, as soon as your kid says something distressing to you, we have those two urges. We have to recognize them. We're not bad people. Just, I always say, say hi to them. Hello, urge to make it better. And here to me is the first line every parent needs in their toolbox. I'm so glad you're talking to me about this.

Great. So to me, these three lines will play that out. So to me, as soon as your kid says something distressing to you, we have those two urges. We have to recognize them. We're not bad people. Just, I always say, say hi to them. Hello, urge to make it better. And here to me is the first line every parent needs in their toolbox. I'm so glad you're talking to me about this.

That's right. I'm so glad we're talking about this. Because, and again, if we think about it in an adult context, If I was like, I'm so mad at my husband, he never, whatever it is, he never is home for bedtime. And he forgot the one thing I said. And if I was like, hey, like, you're never doing anything around the house. And I am really frustrated.

That's right. I'm so glad we're talking about this. Because, and again, if we think about it in an adult context, If I was like, I'm so mad at my husband, he never, whatever it is, he never is home for bedtime. And he forgot the one thing I said. And if I was like, hey, like, you're never doing anything around the house. And I am really frustrated.

If he said to me, you know what, Becky, well, you're upset, but like, I'm so glad you're telling me about this. Like, you know, relationships, I'd be like, I think we're good now. Like, I don't even know what was I upset about. Because what someone's really saying to you when they say that is this feeling in you that you're feeling is real.

If he said to me, you know what, Becky, well, you're upset, but like, I'm so glad you're telling me about this. Like, you know, relationships, I'd be like, I think we're good now. Like, I don't even know what was I upset about. Because what someone's really saying to you when they say that is this feeling in you that you're feeling is real.

And I still want to be in a relationship with you when you're feeling that way.

And I still want to be in a relationship with you when you're feeling that way.

And so our kids need to absorb from us from a resilience perspective. My parent can tolerate this part of me before I learn to tolerate this part of me.

And so our kids need to absorb from us from a resilience perspective. My parent can tolerate this part of me before I learn to tolerate this part of me.

I'm so happy to be here.

I'm so happy to be here.

I'm so happy to be here.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and I think everything I'm about to share applies, you know, in the workplace, right? Like, can a boss be, you know, really upset in front of the person they manage, management, right? So it's all the same stuff. So I guess zooming out is a start. Emotions are normal. Emotions are unstoppable. You can't not feel sad just because you have your five-year-old in the room, right?

Yeah, and I think everything I'm about to share applies, you know, in the workplace, right? Like, can a boss be, you know, really upset in front of the person they manage, management, right? So it's all the same stuff. So I guess zooming out is a start. Emotions are normal. Emotions are unstoppable. You can't not feel sad just because you have your five-year-old in the room, right?