Dr Becky Quicke
speaker
100 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Dr Becky Quicke’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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you can't then know what you need, so situations that are probably going to be difficult and what to do about that and talk to, as a younger child, talk to parents or talk to friends about that or with yourself kind of work out actually what do you need. Without that awareness, you're kind of...
behaving in a way to, like I said before, to kind of avoid those difficult feelings of feeling different and feeling shame. And so your behaviour is fuelled by fear, really, and anxiety, like you say, to kind of fit in and do those things rather than...
being um fueled by what's what works well for me what feels good so then you then you don't learn to to know what does it feel like to feel good what feels nice what feels easeful what you know what works for me um and so quite often if if um women you know come to us later on and have a later diagnosis, it really is like you're saying, peeling back those layers and working out.
I mean, a lot of women will say, I just, I don't know what I need. And, you know, so there's a real process there. I mean, the diagnosis is often a first step.
And then it's kind of peeling back that layers, whether it's with themselves and kind of that exploration and that discovery of themselves and community and being connected with other people who are similar or whether they have support through a therapist or a coach. So, yeah, there's, yeah. We feel really passionate about helping girls and assessing girls to understand themselves.
That's, you know, that's where it began. We actually started out just assessing girls. That's what our service was. And then women got in touch saying, oh, you know, I love that you have a focus just on girls. How about women? Are you assessing women? And we were like, okay, well, yeah, let's develop that. And that's just blossomed. So we assess both now because there's that connection
you know, kind of working back and helping women to kind of work things out from where they're at, but also really trying to kind of help girls early on.
Yeah. Yeah. That's really nice summary, actually, of a really important, important issue around when people struggle and, yeah, are kind of coping, developing ways to cope rather than actually, I talk quite a lot about how understanding ourselves means that we can create a life where we don't need to cope.
Yeah, and the women and girls and parents. Yeah, it really varies. So for some people, I mean, the word that comes to mind is relief. And that is predominantly what we experience, I think, for girls and women. Although I'm just thinking as a piece of... research with people who have had a diagnosis and they talked about feeling relief, so grief and relief.
So there is the relief, but then there's the grief. This is, I'm talking about women here. Actually, parents can experience that as well, even with young girls, actually, because there's been a period of time of not understanding. But yeah, absolutely the relief. And, um, uh, what's coming to my mind actually is, um, some of the girls are, and this is just, um, I just think it's amazing.
And it's really quite exciting that they, um, I remember one parent saying, um, cause they told their, their daughter that, that, you know, we diagnosed autism on ADHD and they said that she squealed with joy and And I was just, yeah, we get that. So sometimes it's actual real excitement. This is who I am. And it just makes sense.
And like, just that, if you think of the impact of that, you know, on the trajectory of that child. But it's not all like that. So with some families, there can be such a mix of emotions, feelings, It can be guilt, you know, that I've not known this, and if I'd have known this, I might have done these things differently. Oh, it really varies.
But actually a really significant thing that I've noticed, I don't know what the percentage is, actually, I haven't kind of done the numbers, but... Quite a significant percentage of girls after our assessments have then, or their parents have then, taken them out of mainstream education. Which some people might think, well, that's not a good outcome.
But actually, the assessment and the diagnosis has made them realise that that their daughter is burnt out in quite a serious way. Quite often that's common. And that mainstream education at that moment in time is just really not working. So whether it's homeschool or online schooling, and this is not easy, you know, So that, you know, is a difficult process.
However, for those girls, I guess the families are kind of coming together and going, okay, this isn't working. We need to look at something that will work. So I have noticed that it's literally been within weeks.
Yeah, and I think it's that realisation that actually this is too traumatic for this girl right now.
Yeah, yeah, that can happen as well, definitely. And we have assessed women in their 70s and all the way through. Yeah, absolutely. That's definitely, I hear that a lot, actually, real anger at their, it could be people, situations, establishments, you know. Yeah, real, real frustration and anger. I've noticed with the women we've assessed,
that I think there's a phase and it's only a small number of weeks it's not a long time but there's a short phase where I think actually I would recommend no recommendations so we do make recommendations on reports but I think there's a there's a phase of kind of just letting it sort of settle and re and just kind of almost everything settling and becoming reordered a little bit really and then working out from there okay actually
this is what I need to, you know, potentially need support with. Or actually for some people, we're all good. Actually, that's just kind of the piece, the missing jigsaw piece that I needed. But I think that those first few weeks, it is a real cauldron, a real melting pot of emotions. And it's kind of letting that settle a little bit and then working out where to go from there.
There's a number of things, I guess, that impact how women, and we've been talking about masking, but kind of present themselves. And I think a significant factor is is about social conditioning. And there are, but I think it really impacts, well, it definitely really impacts boys and men as well, but the gender sort of stereotypes, which... which happened so early on.
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