Dr Becky Quicke

There can be difficulties, but actually we do get some women who come through and have an assessment and they're not experiencing a lot of distress because they've created a life that really works for them and actually they've kind of worked the two together.

There can be difficulties, but actually we do get some women who come through and have an assessment and they're not experiencing a lot of distress because they've created a life that really works for them and actually they've kind of worked the two together.

Someone like that historically would not receive a diagnosis, even though we can see, you know, we've done the assessment, we can see actually having that collaborative assessment with them that that's how their brain works, that's how they experience the world, and actually they do reach criteria for autism and ADHD.

Someone like that historically would not receive a diagnosis, even though we can see, you know, we've done the assessment, we can see actually having that collaborative assessment with them that that's how their brain works, that's how they experience the world, and actually they do reach criteria for autism and ADHD.

What comes to mind for me is the kind of overwhelming thing is shame. With shame being, I am wrong, rather than, you know, guilt is I have done something wrong. Shame is I am wrong because there are so many, um, like you say, messages from, from people, from school, from family members. And so, yeah, it has a massive impact.

What comes to mind for me is the kind of overwhelming thing is shame. With shame being, I am wrong, rather than, you know, guilt is I have done something wrong. Shame is I am wrong because there are so many, um, like you say, messages from, from people, from school, from family members. And so, yeah, it has a massive impact.

Um, I've worked with a lot of children and obviously adults who are children who've experienced that. And the shame is very, very toxic when, when a child, um, comes to understand themselves and actually even just giving the diagnosis, it can actually change things really significantly.

Um, I've worked with a lot of children and obviously adults who are children who've experienced that. And the shame is very, very toxic when, when a child, um, comes to understand themselves and actually even just giving the diagnosis, it can actually change things really significantly.

You know, if our parents say that we haven't had any meltdowns after that diagnosis, doesn't mean I'm not saying like you get a diagnosis and everything's absolutely perfect. But to know that there's a reason and you can understand and explain these experiences, there's nothing wrong. You're not wrong. You are absolutely right. Because that's the message we give to these girls.

You know, if our parents say that we haven't had any meltdowns after that diagnosis, doesn't mean I'm not saying like you get a diagnosis and everything's absolutely perfect. But to know that there's a reason and you can understand and explain these experiences, there's nothing wrong. You're not wrong. You are absolutely right. Because that's the message we give to these girls.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with them. It just almost, the shame dissipates and kind of goes, you know, really subsides. And that has, and that obviously is a hugely positive thing. So if that doesn't happen and the shame continues, then you start to get towards people, people understandably not being able to tolerate those high levels of shame.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with them. It just almost, the shame dissipates and kind of goes, you know, really subsides. And that has, and that obviously is a hugely positive thing. So if that doesn't happen and the shame continues, then you start to get towards people, people understandably not being able to tolerate those high levels of shame.

And so having to develop what we'd call psychological defences is, So defence mechanisms to not feel that shame, either massive doing things to avoid those feelings or projecting those feelings into other people. Projection is a defence mechanism. But doing... things as they grow older into teenagers, adolescents, young adulthood to not feel that shame.

And so having to develop what we'd call psychological defences is, So defence mechanisms to not feel that shame, either massive doing things to avoid those feelings or projecting those feelings into other people. Projection is a defence mechanism. But doing... things as they grow older into teenagers, adolescents, young adulthood to not feel that shame.

And that's when that becomes potentially problematic.

And that's when that becomes potentially problematic.

Yeah, and there's, I mean, I've talked about shame there and the kind of emotional development, but there's lots of other ways actually that an early diagnosis can really, can be extremely helpful. So without it, and like you say, living in a life that's not aligned with who you really are, you can't really understand your needs and therefore, you know,

Yeah, and there's, I mean, I've talked about shame there and the kind of emotional development, but there's lots of other ways actually that an early diagnosis can really, can be extremely helpful. So without it, and like you say, living in a life that's not aligned with who you really are, you can't really understand your needs and therefore, you know,

create a life and be in relationships that align with your needs. And we know that, especially with girls, there's a lot of social vulnerability with autistic girls in particular. But I think that one, and it's a complex thing, there are lots of reasons why that is. But without that awareness,

create a life and be in relationships that align with your needs. And we know that, especially with girls, there's a lot of social vulnerability with autistic girls in particular. But I think that one, and it's a complex thing, there are lots of reasons why that is. But without that awareness,