Dr Becky Quicke
speaker
100 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Dr Becky Quicke’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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I think probably the most important word is trust, developing that trust. It's where, like I said before, children learn about themselves, about other people and about the world within those key caregiver relations. I'm using a very kind of Yeah, not medical term, but yeah, because it could be, you know, it could be anybody really, but the caregiver.
So developing that model of who they are, you know, and how they are with other people and the world through those relationships. And so it's where we, as children, develop, hopefully, this is where it's really healthy.
This is what I would say is a healthy family dynamic, I guess, is that security, that secure base, it's called in psychological terms, of a place to feel that you can kind of go to where you trust and, like I say, feel safe. And so the body can kind of relax and be taken care of. And so and that's just, oh, yeah, apps. It's essential for every child. That's that's a healthy family dynamic.
And it changes over time because obviously how you how that dynamic is as a as a young child shifts, because as you get into adolescence, it's actually you've got a phase of where there is the kind of relationships change.
are still really important about developing a sense of self, actually starting to shift towards the child, the adolescent, you know, doing that themselves and in interactions with their peers and more kind of outward facing and then coming back into the family unit. It's kind of both really. But yeah, I mean, it's obviously a healthy family dynamic is important for absolutely everybody.
And I think that the...
with um children who are all dhd where things are tricky out in the world even if things are not tricky at home and actually really nice and healthy and relaxed and secure and safe and trusting and all that kind of stuff the world can be can be really can be really difficult and so i guess what i would um see as being really healthy is is working that out together you know and um
And parents kind of being able to support them to, you know, if there's changes that are going to be made, you know, thinking ahead. I mean, it's a lot of pressure on parents. But yeah, being aware of things that are going to change and letting them know and say, this might be difficult. What could you do? And kind of problem solving together, really.
Yeah, it's really, really tricky. And it's great that you raise that, actually, because children are a mirror for us as parents. You know, it's like a mirror and you can kind of, I mean, and that can kind of go one or two ways, really. It can kind of be like, oh, actually, I mean, you kind of start to understand yourself through children.
being a parent, or actually it can be a mirror and it can kind of shine a light on a part of yourself that you don't want to have shone. And so that defence potentially... for some people, is pretty strong, is pretty solid.
And that can be really damaging because if there's a parent who doesn't want to kind of understand themselves in that way and thinks there's, you know, there's a kind of, like I say, there's defence against it, then obviously not only... are they going to struggle to then acknowledge and understand their child? But also there's then this kind of learning that there's something wrong.
You know, we're going back to that shame again, really, aren't we? That actually there's something wrong if my parent doesn't want to you know, is struggling, then with that, then there must be something wrong with it. And if I'm experiencing that, then there's something wrong with me too. So, yeah, it is tricky. But, I mean, a lot of families on the flip side, you know,
they it's either quite often that they're they're understanding their child and they're going for an assessment with a child and they're like oh you know light bulbs are going off we have that with parents all the time and that's brilliant i think um you know and i think that that's does happen a lot um and i think that's really super nice for that to happen
Yeah, it is. It's very powerful. Yeah.
Oh, this is all ADHD.
Yeah. So tomatoes, the fruit that doesn't belong in a fruit salad.
And so you see tomatoes. They don't belong in there. Fruit, they don't belong in fruit salad. But they're often hanging out with the vegetables. But they're not accepted. They're not accepted there either. They're not a vegetable. So they don't belong anywhere. And that is such a common thing that women... say to us at the very, very beginning of their, their journey.
And I think that's been a reason for the late diagnosis, well, one reason for the late diagnosis, because it's like, I'm, I don't fit with, you know, the kind of autistic community and I don't fit with the ADHD community. I don't belong anywhere. And that's been a, and, and actually I, That's because all DHD is a, I think it's a third, it's a thing of its own, really.
And so, yeah, like the tomatoes, a lot of women we assess don't belong in the fruit salad or in the bolognese.
Oh, thank you for having me.
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