Dr. Brian Pennie

I felt afraid.

I was worried all of the time.

I kept it all to myself.

And he was suggesting because he actually read me book, which was another bloody honor that that was my biggest trauma.

I was all I was lonely.

I was disconnected and I was on the journey on my own.

That's what he thinks was the greatest trauma I had, but was a compounding effect, I think, you know.

No smoking I had back to the bodily sensations I had this phobic fear of needles throughout my entire life and I wasn't I wasn't afraid of putting a needle into me like I did the idea of taking blood out of my body because to inject heroin like I did get there in the end but to inject heroin you take blood out first and then

You get rid of the air bubbles.

And it was the idea of blood coming out of me that just freaked me out at a phobic level.

So for years, and God, it cost me a fortune because I did have friends that injected, but I was smoking like 200 quids worth for their 40 quids worth and getting the same buzz nearly.

I'm not even as good.

So the drugs sort of stopped working for a while, but it was smoking heroin at the start for us.

Yeah, I never thought, I didn't think I was a real addict.

Like I was chronically addicted every day used to heroin.

I had a hundred euro a day habit at one stage, but I wasn't a real addict.

I had a job.

I went on holidays.

I had a car.

I sold drugs to fund the habit.